The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

Today, after we had dinner and were almost sleepy, the Mom started moving more stuff around! I waked myself up and went in there and asked "What are you doing?" but she didn't hear me I think because she didn't answer, so I jumped up on top of the bookcase she was trying to move and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and she laughed and said "you're not really helping me, Buddah." But I wasn't TRYING to help I was TRYING to get her to tell me what she was doing! Then Max came in and said, "It's a human thing, you wouldn't understand" so I decided to just run around like my butt was on fire, and she noticed because she said, "Are you going to just run around like your butt is on fire or are you going to help me?" I kept running so I guess she had her answer.

She moved everything from one room into another room and everything from the other room into the first room! The table with the rolly balls is in a whole new place! But I wasn't worried this time because I knew we weren't moving. Max says she just has to move things around sometimes because she has no life.

I like the way things are now because I can slide all the way across the floor! I can run down the stairs really fast and stop at the bottom and I just slide and slide! It's like FIVE kinds of fun! I'll have to ask Max to count them all for me.

Today I walked up to the Mom and said, "Pick me up!" and she looked down at me and said, "Say please," so I did! I made a tiny meow and she knew what it meant and she picked me up and carried me around the kitchen with her until Max came in and said, "Get off my Woman!" so I wiggled so the Mom would put me down but not because Max said to get down, I did it because I wanted to chase him, so I did! He runned and everything! He also chased me around and then up the stairs where the Mom went to get on her computer and I ran into a bedroom but Max didn't follow me, so I turned around to see where he was and I didn't see him so I went out of the bedroom and you know where he was? He was hiding behind a box and when he heared me coming he jumped out and went "BOO!" and I jumped REALLY high. That made the Mom laugh a lot. I bet she wouldn't have laughed if I had peed all over the rug! Or maybe she would cause it was really funny. And then I chased Max some more.

Oh! I remembered to play with the Dad! He got my favorite toy and throwed it for me, and I brought it back so he could throw it again, and I brought it back again and we did that for a long long time, like 5 minutes! He throwed it maybe a million times! He still says I'm like a woofy, but he thinks that's a good thing even though I don't. Maybe it's just the name of the game! It's the Woofy Game! The Mom was watching and laughing and said I am way too cute. She might be right!

Tonight, I was playing with the Dad, and he was throwing toys for me and I was chasing them and I was having a really good time, but then he said he had to go to work so he stopped playing with me, but I wasn't done! I have to wait until tomorrow to play with him some more but I think I might forget about it by then and he'll go to bed and sleep without playing with me some more and then I'll remember but I won't be able to get into the bedroom to remind him we weren't done playing! I don't want to go play with Max, because sometimes Max bites back.

I spended all day long sleeping on the bed with the fuzzy blanket, 'cause the Mom was there all day sleeping, too. When she waked up she picked me up and told me what a good boy I was for keeping an eye on her. Should I tell her I was just sleeping there 'cause she made the bed super warm and the rest of the house was cold? I'da been a good boy if I knew I was supposed to. Max says to stop being a suck up. But really I woulda been good and watched her if someone had told me I needed to.

I am not having a very good day. Well it was good until tonight when there was a new kitty crack toy and Max got it first and I wanted it and was going to try to get it, but the Mom said no and when I tried to get it anyway she picked me up and made me stay in a room with the Other Dad for FIVE whole minutes!

And then later the Mom and the Dad moved stuff around in a room so it doesn't look the same and I was all confused and thought maybe we were moving again and I don't want to move because I like this place but then they were done and we were still here but I still don't like it because now I can't lie on the fuzzy blanket and look out the door down the hall! I want them to put it back but they just walked away and didn't hear me say so.

Max said I could have the toy now but then he said he spit all over it. I hope tomorrow is more fun.

It looks like Max is choking me, doesn't it?

But really, he's giivng me a bath.

See? But I'm not happy about it, not at all.

I tried to lick back, but that's when he let me I RUNNED!

Tonight the Dad had a hamguber and saved some for me and Max. But you know what? I don't like hamguber. I sniffed it but walked away and the Mom said "If you walk away Max is going to eat it" but I figured someone might as well have it because I wasn't going to eat it. I was disappointed because it was supposed to be like a treat. Maybe I'll get a better treat later. Something that stinks better than hamguber.

Looky. I tried to wrap myself up so I could give myself to the Mom and the Dad as a present. I was even gonna give them my favorite toy! But I couldn't get the paper to stick in one place and then I was afraid I'd never get to play with my favorite toy again. Max said I needed tape, but I'm not allowed to play with the tape. And then he said to spit on the paper and it would stick, but I couldn't get enough spit to come out. I asked him to spit on the paper for me, but then the Mom and the Dad were sitting down at the table to have dinner, and we really needed to go see what they were eating and if we could have some. They were eating pork chops and I wanted to try it but Max said those taste like butt, and I wanted to know who's butt, but he said it didn't matter, a butt's a butt and they all taste nasty. So we didn't get any of their dinner and I didn't get myself all wrapped up, but I did get to play with my toy!

I don't think the Dad likes me very much. He thinks I'm a woofy! When he throws toys I chase them and bring them back so he can throw them again, and he said I was just like a woofy! He picks me up and pets me and tells me I'm a good boy, and he plays with me and sneaks me treats when no one is looking, and he lets me crawl under the blankets when he's in bed so I can get all warmed, but calling me a woofy can't be a good thing.

The Mom can growl! She was putting stuff on the bed, and Max tried to help by jumping on it every time she put one thing down, and she kept picking him up and putting him on the floor, and when she wanted to put the fuzzy blanket that Max says is his on it and he jumped up, she growled! She went Rrrrrrrrrrrr just like a mad kitty, and picked him up and said "You are not helping, Max!" Max said she was just being stoopid, but I wasn't taking any chances, so I ran.

I've got so many new toys from Santa, and sun spots to sleep in, and Max to chase, that I just don't have enough time to write things! Really, there's so much to do and not enough kitty time to do it all!

Oh, and if you poke Max on the forehead with your paw, then back away, then poke him again, he gets really mad! And it's funny! I just have to say "I'm touching you, I'm touching you!" and poke him and then the fun starts. Well, fun for me...

Ok, so the Mom says it's a new year. I wanted to know what that was and I asked, but all she did was reach down and pet my head, and I liked that, but it didn't help any. So later on when she was in bed I asked Max, and Max said "It's just a way that People measure time."

I didn't get it so he also said, "It's like today is a birthday. And next year this day will be another birthday. So a year has gone by. It's a new year."

So then I asked "Does that mean I'm a year old now?" and Max said "No, it's just a People thing. You turn a year old on your birthday and I think that's in about 3 months."

Then the Mom said "Will you two please be quiet?" because we were in the room and right next to the bed.

I asked Max how long 3 months is and he said it's a little longer than how much time it was from when we moved into here until Santa came. And when I asked how many sleeps that was, he didn't know! He said that's probably higher than any kitty can count! Maybe two bajrillion!

Then the Mom said, "Seriously. Be quiet before I lock both of you out of here."

Then Max said, "She's too lazy to get out of bed to do it."

Then I asked what happens on my birthday and you know what Max said? There will be presents! Just like from Santa, only from the Mom and the Dad! Then he said, "Go play with the window. If she's going to be mad, she might as well have something to be mad about."

So I did!

Then I ran before she could get out of bed because I don't think she was very happy.

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