The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

You know when the Mom is bended over putting crunchy food in our dishes and you jump on her back, she sighs really hard and says "I am not amused" but Max says that's okay because we are amused, and that's all that matters.

Well today just was not the best day ever. This morning the Mom got upset because when she was giving Max his food I stuck my butt in her face because I THOUGHT she liked it but I guess not when she's feeding Max, and then later the door to the closet was open and I've always wanted to go in there but it's never open so I started to go in and she waved her poky finger and said "No, Buddah, we don't play in there" but I didn't need HER to play in there, just me, and besides I wasn't going to PLAY I was going to EXPLORE which is very different but she was piling up cases of fizzy water because it was on sale and she bought more than she can store in the kitchen so when she turned to pick one up I tried to sneak in there but she grabbed me and pulled me out and said, "No! It's not for kitties!" but I'm pretty sure it IS for kitties as evidenced by how badly I NEED to get in there!

Last night Max was downstairs and I was upstairs and he sat at the bottom of the stairs and kept calling out to me but I was sleepy so I was ignoring him but he really wanted to play Thundering Herd of Elephants so he kept yelling and I kept ignoring and every once in awhile the Mom would call out "Go find something to do Max," or "No one wants to play, Max" but he didn't want to give up so he kept meowing over and over and over and I kept ignoring over and over and over and finally the Mom got up and looked down the stairs and said "If you don't stop I am going to come down there and tie your tongue to your tail" and Max thought that sounded like fun because he didn't think she could catch him so he meowed again and you know what she did? She turned around and looked at me on the top of the tall climbing tower and said "Would it KILL you to answer him?" and I didn't know how to answer that so I stood up and showed her my butt. I think she likes that.

Oh noes...tonight Max dropped a huge bomb in the litter box and it was making everyone's eyes water so they left the house for a little while and when they came back it still was really bad and the Mom said "I swear, I'm going to stop feeding you two" and I think she might really mean it even though Max says she's just talking out her ass, though that's not where I heard it come from, I'm pretty sure it came out of her mouth and since there's not much crunchy food left in the dishes she might be serious.

Sometimes, when I don't know what to think, I sit in the corner by the closet door at the bottom of the stairs.

Most of the time I don't know what to think about the Mom not getting up and getting me a crunchy treat when I ask politely.

Sometimes I don't know what to think when Max won't be nice.

And sometimes I just don't know what to think, because thinking can be a very hard thing to do.

Today I sat in the corner because I didn't know what to think, and Max came down the stairs and said "Whatcha doin', Dorkus?" (I think he calls me that because he secretly likes me.)

But I didn't know. I said I might be very sad, and I didn't know what to think about that.

He said, "You gotta feel what you feel, even when it's being sad."

And then I said, "It feels like what happened to Monty's sister wasn't fair."

Max sat down and said, "What do we know of fair? I don't think it's fair when you get crunchy treats and I don't, but the People have their reasons. It's not that it's not fair...but it certainly does suck."

"You don't think it wasn't fair?"

"I think that it was horrible and that it hurts and that it sucks, and that it's a good thing you care enough to be sitting in a corner being all hurty."

"The Mom's eyes got all leaky and I think I wish I could get all leaky, too."

"People have that advantage," Max agreed. "They can be leaky because it helps get the suckiness out of them."

"Why can't we leak?" I asked him. "I want to feel better."

Max thought for a few seconds and then said, "I think our job is to take our own sadness and turn it into purrs, and then we jump up on the person who needs it the most, and we purr on them. That helps them when they don't feel good, and when they are very sad."

"If I purr for the Mom will I feel better?"

But Max didn't know. He said I might still feel all sad, but that a good purr couldn't hurt and would be worth a try. Then I asked him if purring on the Mom helped him feel not so sad, and he said "I have my ways of feeling better about things."

So I asked how he did that.

And that's when he sat on me.

I know everyone is praying for Monty's family and thinking them good thoughts and hugging them with their hearts. Purring helps, too. Max was right, I purred on the Mom and it helped her, and made me feel better too...

It's my box, but I'll let the newspapers stay there until they have to go to the recycling place.


Oh! And if there was a cookie for a prize, Karen Jo would get a big chocolate chip one on account of she guess what my drawing was! It's an egg! Max says it's a decent egg but I shouldn't give up my day job. That's ok, though, because I like holding papers down. Even newspapers.

Looky! The Mom and Max were working on his book and they were at the table drawing things and I jumped up and said "I want to help! Can I help?" and Max sucked in a deep breath and said "I suppose so" and then while they worked for hours and hours I worked for hours and hours and when I was done I had a picture and he's gonna use it in his book! Look!

Do you know what it is? Do you? Do you?


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