The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

Last night, the Mom's neck must have been cold because when I plopped down on it she said "you're such a good neck warmer, Buddah," and I stayed there for a long time and purred, and when she said "if you move half an inch either way I won't be able to breath," I moved a whole inch and she said "well, that's just so much better" so I knew she was happy.

Then this morning I helped her wake up. I curled up right next to her face and put my nose on her cheek and she opened her eyes and said "well good morning to you, too," and then she scratched my head and said, "I can't see the clock with you right there," but tat was okay because she didn't have her extra eyeballs on so she couldn't see the clock anyway so she decided if I was there it must be time to wake up, so she did!

She was gone a lot this weekened and we missed her, so today we're going to take turns sitting on her. Max says he didn't really miss her, he missed her opening the laptop for him. I think he's still just mad that she got mad at him when it was really early in the morning, so early it was still dark out, because he meowed at her to get up then and when she opened and eye and said "go away" he hit her face with his paw and she made him get off the bed.

He should cuddle with her. She'll get up for that.

Hahahaha! Max was lookin' out the window and he got all upset because he saw something in the back yard and he kept getting more and more freaked out so the Mom and the dad got a flashlight and went back there to see but there was nothing there. So they came back inside and the Mom was telling him it was okay, there was nothing there to worry about and he was looking out the window and started growling really loud, and the Mom started laughing and said "'re seeing Buddah's reflection in the glass. He's right behind you." I don't think he believed her but I moved away and suddenly there was nothing to growl at in the back yard. He still doesn't believe he was seeing me! So I'm laughing at him, but not to his face because that would be rude.


I did it! I got a harness and I went outside in the back yard with the Mom and the Dad. I got to explore it and sniff it and listen to the woofy in another yard that was all woof woof woof woof the whole time and I saw birds and my paws were all in the green stuff that the Dad called grass.

And lookit Max! He stayed inside and sniffed me through the door. It looks like we're kissin' but we're not. And you know what? I get to do it again! Maybe not tomorrow cause it's supposed to rain AGAIN but next time it's nice out I get to go outside again!

OH OH OH! THE MOM TOOK ME OUTSIDE!!! She really did! I was meowing by the front door and she kept saying "No, no, Buddah, you don't want to go out there" but I kept meowing "Yes I do" so the Dad said to her "Take him out. As soon as the rain hits him he'll never want to go out again" so she picked me up and held me close and SHE TOOK ME OUTSIDE!!!

It was amazing! I could feel the air on me and the wet stuff coming out of the sky got all on me but I didn't care because I was outside and it was AWESOME. The Mom held me and kept a thumb under my collar to make sure I didn't try to wiggle down, but I was happy to let her hold me. I watched one of those big things with wheels go by and I heard water go drip drip drip into a puddle, and then she said "You want to see the back yard?" and I did so she took me out there and let me meet the racoon. I always wondered why that racoon just sat there all the time, and I was a little scare of it, but she slapped it and it didn't move at all! She said "See? It's just concrete."

By then I was ready to go back inside so she took me back, but now I can't wait until I get to go out again. The Dad said to her, "I really think we should get him a harness and leash. He'll be okay if one of us stays with him" and she said "ok" so I might get to go back outside again!

They tried to take Max out, too, but as soon as the Dad had him outside he tried to go back in. Max says it's because he doesn't like rain at all, but I think he's just scared. If we get a kitty walk or a kitty playpen or a kitty grand prix he might want to go outside. But the Mom says those are expensive, and it's still just a big MAYBE.

Max thinks it's funny that I'm losing a lot at Kitten War, but you know what? They wouldn't even put his picture up there! He was REJECTED! He says it was because he's too old but I know better. He's just not cute enough. So...HA!

The thingy on the table by the mom's desk started making all kinds of noise, so I had to investigate and see what was happening.

I think it was sick.
It was throwing up and having a hard time getting stuff out, so I tried to help.
I reached right in and pulled!

I kept trying to help, but it kept throwing up. I was gonna stick my face in there to get a better look but the Mom said I had to get down. It must really be sick, 'cause it's still barfing.

We had sunspots today! I waked up this morning and went downstairs, and there they were, all over the room that has the floor I like to slide on and the couch the Mom says I've ruined with my claws! She opened cans of Stinky Goodness for me and Max, and then I stretched out in a sunspot and let it make my tummy all warm.

Later on the Mom and the Dad were outside where we could see them and the back door was open but the screen thingy was there, and I tried and tried to push it open so I could go out with them but I couldn't get it to move. The Mom said I was a smart kitty because she knew what I was trying to do. And she said she wants to see how much a kitty catwalk is so we can come out and not worry about the rude outside kitties. the Dad said just get harnessessessess and leashes but she thinks the other kitties would attack us.

I hope they can find them because that would be fun.

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