The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

The Mom and the Dad went to the place where they have toys, I know they were there because the bag they brought back said PETCO and that means TOYS. But all they had in it was a fishy, and they won't let me play with the fishies. All I get to do is look at them. The Mom says I have enough new toys but I don't think a kitty can ever have enough new toys. But she did says she wanted to buy more toys but thought she should wait until I kill another one.

And this morning, there was a ride kitty in the back yard, and I chased him away all by myself! I did just like Max showed me. I made myself really puffy and big and I slapped the windows with my paws really loud, and I even GROWLED! The Dad said he never heard me growl before. I don't think I ever have, not like that. But it worked, 'cause the rude kitty went away. Max said "Well done, grasshopper." What's a grasshopper?

Tonight, I sitted on the Mom's lap, and then I laid down, and Max wanted in her lap but I was there first, so he got really mad. The Dad said "Come sit in my lap, Max" so Max did but he was still really mad and kept looking at the Mom with his eyes all slitty which means "Die die die!" I stayed there a long time just to make him madder. Later I got down and he coulda gotten up but he was off in the litter box, so when he came back and saw her lap was empty I ran and got back in it. He was all mad and I was all HA HA HA! He got to sit on her lap ater, but after he was there for a little bit she had to get up. Max is not a happy kitty tonight but it's kind of funny.

Looky! We gotted a new toy!

clicky to biggify

I gotted to it first, and Max wasn't happy so he tried to squishy me. And there was a toy INSIDE the toy! So I played with it and turned the new toy upside down to try to pull it out. Then Max wanted to try to get in it but he's so long that he couldn't get his whole body in it to turn around. And it wasn't even because he's fat! Even though he is fat. He got mad and walked away and when he turned around he said GIVE ME SOME TREATS CUZ I AM MAD! There was kitty crack all over the floor but that wasn't enough, he wanted crunchy treats. So the Dad got some. And then he sitted on another toy and pretended like he didn't care even though he did. I can get inside and turn around and lie down. I likes it! I feel bad for Max, though, because he really wants to fit in it, too. And he said I need to play with it lots because before I know it I'll be too tall, too.

If I get to tall, too, he says the Dad might make us a bigger one. 'cause the Dad knows how to make stuff like that.

There haven't been any sun spots to nap in the last couplea days and I miss them a lot. I think Max misses them, too. Today we both took naps on top of the Mom because she was nice and warm and she said we made her nice and warm, too. Last night I wasn't looking for sun spots but I got cold so I slept on top on the Mom until she got up to make the chirping thingy in the ceiling be quiet. I kind of wanted her to get back in bed and be warm for me again, but Max decided it was time to eat and he wouldn't stop talking until she fed us. And he can be really loud so there's no sleeping when Max is busy demanding. It was ok since I got to sleep on her later and we got beef Stinky Goodness for breakfast. But I am going to sleep on her tonight, I think. Maybe she'll let me under the blanket.

You know what? When it's nice outside and the Mom and the Dad have some windows open, there are a lot of woofies outside! I went to look out one window, and there was a little woofy in the back yard next door. He was just playing so he was fun to watch. But there's another woofy behind us, and he's bigger, and all he does is woof and woof and woof and woof, and we all really just want him to be quiet!

The Mom was sitting here a little while go and asked the Other Dad if it would be mean to buy a Barker Breaker and stick it in the back yard cause she's tired of hearing Woof Woof Woof alla the time. The Other Dad thinks the woofy won't shut up because he can see me and Max in the window, but the Mom says he woofs all the freaking time and she's not happy.

I don't like that woofy very much because he hurts my ears.

And Max isn't happy because he saw some Sticky Little People out the window, but he says they're the wrong Sticky Little People. I dunno, they look okay to me. And they were nice to their little woofy. I bet they would be nice to a kitty, too.



I took one of the nice kitty crack toys we gotted, and I took it into the bathroom, and I got it open and gotted it all over the floor! I even ate some of it! It was lots of fun and I didn't even get in trouble 'cause I didn't rip the shiny bag open! And I shared it with Max. He likes to lick it up sometimes too.

Tonight when we gotted our snack, he couldn't finish it! I ate all of mine and still wante a little bit, so I sneaked up to see if I could stick my face into his plte and get a bite, but I was afraid he was going to bite me, but he didn't. He scooched over and let me have some! he sighed really hard and sat up to stretch and he wanted to try to finish it because it was his favorite Stinky Goodness of All time, forever and forever, but then the Mom picked the plate up and said she didn't want Max to make himself sick. So she threw it out and then let me lick all the crumbs off the plate.

Now Max is all sleepy and I think I am going to go find a place to curl up too. I need rest so I can kill another toy tomorrow.

The Mom asked me why she's not allowed unsoopervised visits to the bathroom. I don't know! I don't even know what that means! All I know is that when she's in a room and the door is closed I have to stick my paws under it and say "Hey! Let me in!" and if I can get there before the door closes, then she pets me and says how cute I am. But I can't answer her question, and it's confusing because I thought the Mom and the Dad were allowed anything they wanted.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you see it? Did you see it? There were woofies on the picture box today! Max says they were baby woofies and all they were doing was playing together all day on the Puppy Bowl! And even though they're woofies, it was funny to see and don't tell anyone but I kinda wanted to play with them. They rolled around and jumped on each other and no one got mad when they bit a little bit. It looked like lots of fun. I tried to get Max to play like that but he said not now, maybe we will on the second Tuesday of next week. I better rest up so that I can win!

Ohhhh...Max is really mad cause the Mom said that he's fat! He thinks he's just got big bones. I don't wanna say so, but I'm pretty sure he's just fat.

He's really worried that the Mom and the Dad are going to take away his favorite food. I won't like that either. I really like his favorite food. It's squishy and stinky and tastes like fish! I think. I've never had a real fish I don't think. Does it taste like chicken? I don't really like chicken very much, but the otehr night the Mom and the Dad had some chicken and they gave us each a tiny taste and Max thought he was going to get mine, so I ate it instead!

Maybe if Max doesn't get to eat so much it won't hurt when he sits on me. Last night he sitted on me and it hurt so much I had to cry out for the Mom. She shook a finger at him and said "Stop sitting on Buddah!" but he didn't care. I hope when I'm bigger I make him cry when I sit on him. Just so he knows how it feels. He says it's fair because my teeth and claws hurt, but it's not my fault he doesn't have claws and he doesn't bite.

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