The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

Max sat on me. He said we were gonna have fun, but I didn't like that at all. He's fat!

Oh, I had a scaredy thing happen to me today. I was playing, and I ran through the tunnel toy, and it got caught on my head, and that scared me, so I ran even faster into the room where the Dad was, and I didn't know what to do so I jumped on the bed and that made it hurt more, so I jumped to the other side and it hurt more again, but then it fell off. I was really scared so I hid in this tiny place between the wall and the back of the bed, and the Dad couldn't find me, and he was afraid I was really hurt, so the Mom came to look, too, and they decided I was in that place behind the bed, so that had to pull it apart to get me! Then the Mom took me and holded me, and she took me and Max to the other bedroom so she could look to see if I was hurt on the outside, and the Other Dad helped the Dad put the bed back together. Then the Dad took the tunnel toy and cut off the thingy that my head got caught on. I didn't want the Mom to put me down until I saw the Dad put the tunnel toy back on the floor so I could play in it again without getting hurted. And Max sniffed at me to see if I was ok! He said he was looking to see if I was dead so he could have my snack tonight, but I know he got scared too when the Mom and the Dad had to hep me get out from behind the bed.

Tonight Max was sleepin' so when it was time for dinner *I* got to go tell the Mom! She was surprised and said, "You're learning to tell time, Little Man!" and then she started to get our food. She also told me to go get Max, but I didn't. I sitted on the floor and waited because Max says If You Snooze You Lose, and if he was snoozing he was losing! But he heard her and waked up and came out to eat anyway. Later he got mad because the Mom let me lick her yogurt cup but she shook her head and said "You don't like yogurt, Max. I'd give you some if you did." When she left the room he called her a bad word and said liking it wasn't the point. I asked Max what the point was and he said it's that place on the top of my head. I keep trying to look for it, but I can't see it!


Max taked a nap with me!

I got kind of scared this morning. The Mom put Max into this big plastic thingy and took him outside, and the Dad was asleep (Max says he stays out all night farting, that's why he sleeps during the day), so I was all alone and I wanted to know where Max was going and I was afraid he wasn't coming back. So I waited by the door for a long, long time. Just when I was sure Max was never coming back, the Mom opened the door and there he was! She took him to the bathroom because he had to get a bath with a wet washcloth, but then he came out and said his life sucks. He also said he pooped on the mom!

Later on I was sleeping on the bed and the Mom shut the door. I heard her open a can of food, but I couldn't get out to get to it! I howled as loud as I could but she still didn't hear me. Max said he got to have a snack because when he was outside someone stabbed him. I wanted a snack too but I didn't want to get stabbed.

The Mom said she was sorry but Max had to have a special snack to help his head and tummy not feel bad and I can't have any of that because I'm not sick, so she let me lick her yogurt to make me feel better. Max hates yogurt, so when she has it I get to lick the spoon all I want when she's done!

I'm not scared now, so I think I'll go take a nap on the Mom's fuzzy blanket. Well, Max says it's his blanket and he just lets the Mom use it. But I get to use it too!

The Mom let me curl up in her lap last night, and she said what a good boy I am for leaving the Big Kitty alone when she said to. Since all he does is growl at me I don't have much choice, but I like curling up in her lap and having my head and tummy rubbed. And later on when she had her snack, we both got a tiny taste! It was good, it was chicken pieces, and I got a big kitty size piece, 'cause she says I'm a big kitty now! I was so happy, I went in and pooped really big, and she said "Oh, Buddah, I can't take too many presents like that." Max said to keep trying, the bigger the better!

Every time I try to play with Max today he growls at me. One time he was on the Mom's lap and I swatted at his tail, and not only did he growl but the Mom pointed her finger at me and said "No. Leave him alone." I just want to play with someone and the Other Dad isn't home!

I don't think Max feels good. All he wants to do is sleep and he never want to play. The Mom says he's just in a bad mood because she put his collar back on and is punishing the rest of us by ingoring us. But I want to play! I even tried to ride him into the kitchen, but he threw me off and growled. So either he doesn't feel good or he doesn't like me anymore. And everyone likes me so it must be his tummy or something.

Yesterday I helped the Mom clean the kitchen. She said I'm a good supervisor. So today she was cleaning the bathroom so I figured she needed my help there, too. Max said that I could be a bigger help if I picked up the paper towels after she dropped them on the floor. So I did that, she used one and wadded it up and dropped it on the floor, so I picked it up and she said "Oh no baby that's not good for you" and she took it away. I was happy she took it away because it didn't taste good at all.

Then when she was bent over cleaning the toilet I jumped on her back to watch over her shoulder. She said "You are SUCH a big help!" And then when she was sweeping I chased the broom and bit it so it would know it had to get everything off the floor and she said "Buddahkins, I couldn't do this without you."

And you know what Max said? He said when I grow up, I can be a maid because I like cleaning!

I learned a new trick! If I put my paw on the thingy covering the window when the Mom can see, she gets up and opens it for me! This morning I wanted to look out the bedroom window, and I was just touching it to see if I could move it, but she saw and she did it for me!

Max says that if she doesn't see me, I need to hit it so it makes noise, and then she'll come and open it even if she's in another room. He says it's called "power" but I think it's just neat!

I haven't had time to blog because I still have BOXES!!!!

We got new boxes! I can jump from one to the other to the other and back again! And I can do it as fast as I want! The Mom said so!

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