The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

Wait, what? You want ME to put the bookshelves together?

All right. I hope I get treats after this.




I'm tryin' I really am but this is HARD! The directions are written in IKEA and I don't speak that!!!




That was hard work, really hard work...but it looks good, doesn't it?

OK, I don't think I like doing the m-word very much because it gets noisy and I get locked in a room with Max and then when we come out all our stuff is just GONE and even though we KNOW the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad took it to a new place we have to look around JUST IN CASE, and then someone picks you up and shoves you into a PTU and before you know it BAM you're slinking around a really scary place that smells WRONG and nothing is where it's supposed to be, like the litterbox, which isn't by a Giant Litterbox anymore but it's by the washing machine, and that's just unpleasant.

The first night we were here I slept on the Dad and Max slept on the Mom but then then Dad had to go pass gas so Max said "you sleep on one side of her and I'll sleep on the other, and we'll get so close that the blankets will be really tight around her and she won't be able to move and that will be really funny!" so we did that and she couldn't move and it really was funny, but the next night I got onto the bed before he did and curled up on top of her and that made Max mad, and I thought THAT was funny, so I did it again the next night and now he's really pissy and grumpy, especially because I've also been sitting in the Mom's lap and he thinks it belongs to him, but I think it's First Come First Served and he can just bite me.

I'm not sure I like the new place yet because it still smells funny and there are noises I don't know and I can't find my toys or anything, but I did find the climbing trees and they're by a window we can see out of, but we still don't know where the Supreme Commander Kitty Tower is, and Max really wants that back but all I really want is for this place to feel like home and not all weird and stuff.

The Mom says that will take a while because she's very tired and isn't putting stuff away as fast as she'd like so the house is going to look like it barfed on itself for a while but until it looks good and I feel safe I can keep sleeping on her and sitting on her and I hope I feel safe soon because I just don't like feeling like this.

This is why I couldn't just jump on the next box to get the toy...

...it wasn't a box to jump on, just some flat things that want to be boxes and I tried to balance on them before, but they hurt my feet, so I'm not a kitty disgrace I'm just BLOCKED from my toy.

I can see where my fevvur toy is...

...but I don't know how to get to it.

See that thingy by the chair?

I don't know what it is, but it moves back and forth and blows hot air and I don't trust it one bit so I'm keeping a close eye on it in case it does something bad, like spit fire or fart, on account of the Mom is sitting real close to it most of the time since it showed up, and someone has to go tell the Dad that she's on fire.

Yesterday I was upstairs and the Mom was downstairs and my tummy was just a little bit upset but it came on so fast I didn't have time to get downstairs where there is no white carpet just pretend-wood floors so I started horking and she called out "Who's throwing up?" but I couldn't answer because I was busy horking my breakfast up, and you'd think she would understand that because I've seen her hork her toenails up and it's not a pretty sight and I bet she couldn't talk then either, so when I didn't say "It's me, Buddah" she came up the stairs and saw that I had barfed up my deep dark brown breakfast all over the almost white carpet and I was afraid I was going to get in trouble but I didn't run because I'm a man cat now, I stood there and was willing to take whatever punishment I was gonna get for ruining the alost white carpet, but she didn't get mad she just said "Ohhh poor baby" and then she made the Dad clean it up because 1) kitty barfs makes her gag and 2) she's not stupid, so he cleaned it up and got the barf machine thingy out and put it on the spots where I horked, and pretty soon they were all gone but they both said it didn't matter on account of we're gonna do the m-word and the lady that owns the house won't own it by then, and who f$^#%@&g cares what the bank thinks.

I felt a whole lot better after I was done horking.

Happy New Year!

Looky looky looky! I MET A WOOFIE TODAY!!!

Well, at first I wasn't sure what I was seeing but Max ran past me really fast so I figured I better go see.

From the back, it didn't look too bad.




So I sneaked up but he turned around, and there we were NOSE TO NOSE!



Then I realized IT'S A WOOFY!!!

I'm sorry but I stopped being brave then and when I realized it was a woofy I ran upstairs with Max and figured it was pretty safe because there were boxes in front of the stairs and he didn't look big enough to get over them, but still...I MET A WOOFY!!!

That was very exciting, in a I don't want to do that again kind of way.

Oh wow I have not written anything in a very long time but I didn't mean to go so long and I can't even say it's because the Mom was using the computer or Max was working on his book or anything like that because I just didn't think about it, probably because I've been doing so many things lately, like snoopervising the Dad while he put books in boxes and snoopervising the Mom while she makes stuff in the kitchen, and snoopervising Max while he does whatever it is he does, and sometimes I'm not really sure what that is but it involves a lot of licking things that the Mom thinks is rude.

Yesterday there was excitement in the morning because the Dad came home from passing gas and he was having his breakfast and I jumped up on the table even though I'm not supposed to when someone is eating and I tried to get a really good look at it and he said "It's Cornflakes. You don't like Cornflakes" but then he thought about it and decided he didn't really KNOW if I liked Cornflakes or not because no one has ever given me any, so he got a couple out of the box and you know what? CORNFLAKES ARE AWESOME!!! I liked them very much and he let me eat just a couple and later on when he was awake he told the Mom "Buddah likes Cornflakes" so she got the box and got me a big flake and set it on the counter where I was sitting because it's okay for me to be on the counters on account of I'm so cute, and I scarfed it right down and she said "That's so funny!" but I didn't think it was funny, I thought it was TASTY.

And you know what the best part is? MAX DIDN'T GET ANY!!! Hahahahahaha!

Look Look Look!!!

The Mom had a little cimummum donut and I jumped on her lap to see what she had because it smelled good and once I got a good whiff I knew I wanted some because she let me have a tiny bite before so I just stuck my face up there and started licking and she didn't yell at me, she let me lick! I did A LOT of licking until Max came in and then I jumped down because he thinks he owns all the donuts in the house and he woulda gotten mad if he knew I got to the donut first BUT I GOT IT FIRST!!! We shared later but he got to lick a little all by himself for a minute, too, and then we licked it together and we even got to take a couple a bites!

OHMYGOSH GUESS WHAT GUESSWHAT??!? I'M FAMOUS!!!! Maybe more famous than Max because a whole buncha people emailed Max to tell him about a newsletter that talked about ME and my UNUSAL NAMe and no one has ever done that about Max because his name is like COMMON and there's nothing special about it but there's no one else named Buddah Pest, and the people who write the newsletter for Petplace.com know all about me or at least about my name and it's the most unusual one out there, and I know that because it says so in the box at the top of the newsletter!

I couldn't figure out how to put the newsletter in here so I got the mom to take screen shots and she split it into 3 pictures and I'm going to show you little ones that you probably can't read but you can click on them and she really bigs ones that you can read and you can see how famous I am!

Max says to enjoy it cause it only lasts 15 minutes but that's okay because for once people know about ME!!!

Thank you everyone who emaled Max and told him and some of you emailed the Mom and told her so now they know I'm not making it up! I am very excited!!!

Hmmm...it's been a long time since I got to blog, but either the Mom is using the computer to make other people cry or Max is working on his book or they're both blogging and I just don't get the chance, but Max is done with his book and he's done saying bad words to the editor so I get a chance to use the computer. The Mom us still making people cry but she says she's not trying to be mean she's just "helping" them with books that they're trying to write but I don't think making people cry is being a very big help. I've been very busy too so I don't know that I would have had much time to sit down and write something because I have a very important job being the paper holder downer and Max needed me to hold his papers down while he worked plus the windows have been open a lot lately and when I get lots of fresh air bugs crawl up my butt and make me run around a lot, but it must not bad kinds of bugs even though the Mom keeps saying she's going to get a giant pair of tweezers and pull the bugs out because she hasn't done that and I think if they were bad bugs she probably would. I'm glad they aren't bad bugs because I'm thinking that might hurt a little bit.

Looky! The Mom had a WHOLE BOWL full of these and she gave one each to me and Max and we got to roll them around on the floor but then mine got all icky and she threw it away and I wanted another one and she said no, the rest were hers. Well that hurt my feelings because she had like a THOUSAND of them or maybe five, but she coulda shared, but she didn't want to so Max rolled his toward me and told her "Silly Wabbit, Trix are for kitties!"











hehehehehehehe...but we really did get to play with some...

You know what? We have a big floppy comfy chair in the room with the box that sometimes has cats on it but mostly Max watches General Hospital and he's always in that chair an I've never gotten to sit in it but today he was in it and I jumped up there and tried to share, but he got all grumpy and got up and left, so I curled up and then the Mom walked in and I thought OH NO because it's really her chair and I didn't think I was actually allowed to sit in it but she said "Hey, Little Man. I've never seen you sit there before" and I was gonna get up because I didn't want to get in trouble but then she said "It's okay. You're allowed to curl up there if you want. Max can find some other place for his nap" so that means I get to sit in the big floppy comfy chair. Well, as long as I don't sharpen my claws on it. I'm pretty sure that's not allowed.

MAX PLAYED WITH ME YESTERDAY!!! And he was NICE, he didn't growl or hiss or bite me! We played Thundering Herd of Elephants and Tag You're It and Kitty Stalker. I wonder if he'll want to play again today...

Looky what the Mom and the Dad bringed brought home for me!

I forgot about grass it's been so long since I had some! And Max doesn't like it so it's all mine! I'm not supposed to eat so much that I throw up later, but I loves it so much I just might...

See?

I can lay on the table and I don't even get in any trouble. The Mom says "I'll just use lots of cleaner later." She sighs a lot when she says stuff like that. I don't know why. I take baths. I'm clean.

Sometimes, I snoopervise from up here. The Mom works down where I can see her.

It's a nice place to snoopervise from, but sometimes my head gets stuck.

Oh! Guess what I eated ate! I ATE WORMS! Two of them! The Mom was boiling them and took one out to see if it was done and I looked at it and she said "Want to try it?" so she dangled it in front of me and at first I thought I'd play with it but then I thought well it's already dead there's no fun in that, so I took a bite and I LIKED IT! When I gobbled it up she got another worm out and cooled it off and I ate that, too! I'm not sure I want to eat them the way the Mom does, because she covered a whole plateful of them in BLOOD. I didn't even know People liked to eat worms, but Max says they enjoy the delicate Basketti Worm on occasion, and that I'll probably get to try it again next week. He's too grossed out by all the blood to even try, I think. But they were very good!

You know when the Mom is bended over putting crunchy food in our dishes and you jump on her back, she sighs really hard and says "I am not amused" but Max says that's okay because we are amused, and that's all that matters.