The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

Ohhhh Max is really mad. The Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad had chicken for dinner and he didn't get any because the Other Dad said it was fried and he didn't need any and the Mom agreed so Max didn't get even a tiny taste of it, all he got was a couple of crunchy treats and he said that was good but IT WAS NOT CHICKEN! He said it like that, IT WAS NOT CHICKEN! I was asleep so I missed it all but that's okay because I'm not a big fan of people food anyway unless it's chicken the Mom makes in a krok pot or the Very Very Special Pot Roast that gets zapped in the microwave for 4 minutes and then has to sit for 2 minutes before eating, because that is very very good but even then we only get little tastes because it has sodium in it.

Max says it's talk like a pirate day and I'm supposed to say R a lot.

What's a pirate?
And why does a pirate say R a lot?
Is it a speech impediment?

And why does he keep saying he's gonna make me walk a plank? Because I looked that up and I don't think I want to walk on one because it might have splinters.

Ohnoes...you remember the first day the Mom and the Dad brought me and Max to the new house and then they thought I got out and was lost forever and the Mom was running up and down the street with snot running down her face and then was so happy I was actually still in the house that she almost got the snot running all over again?

Well, the people who lived in the house before us (they were only in it for 6 weeks) had two kitties, and the lady came over to oick up some mail that the damnedincompetentmailservice didn't forward and she told the Mom that when they got to their new house one of their kitties got out and they still can't find her.

The kitty's name is Sara so if everyone could concentrate their sooper dooper kitty mojo towards CA maybe she'll turn up, either here becaue maybe she thinks she's coming home and then we can take her to her Mom and Dad and human brother and sister, or she'll remember she has a new house and she'll go back there. It's been three weeks and they're very sad. So please think good thoughts and stuff.

When the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad make eveyone move into a new house, being a snoopervisor is a very very very very very bizzy job and I barely have time to do my paper holder downer job but the Mom hasn't had a lot of paper holder downing for me to do which is just as well because I'm TIRED!

I don't know why everyone got so excited today. They took us to a new place and I was scared, but I did was I was told. When they put Max and me in a room they said to stay there and be good, so I did just that. Even when Max got the door open I stayed in the room. Max was gone for three hours, and I stayed in the room. I heard them call my name, but no one said I could leave the room, so I stayed there. Then all the sudden the Dad shouts I FOUND HIM and he picked me up and hugged me and the Woman came running and she grabbed me and hugged me too and she was teary eyed and upset but happy, and then they took me back home where most of my stuff is GONE. And I don't know but we got LOTS of treats. Max says not to question it, they were worried about me and now they're happy, so just accept the treats and be happy. I think I got so may treats because I was a good boy and stayed in the room like I was told to. Max got treats because even though there were doors open that go outside he stayed in the house. That's not as good as staying in the room you're told to stay in but I guess it counts for something.

There are lots and lots of boxes in the house!



Max says this is not good, that the boxes aren't there for me to play on, but why else would they be here? This is fun!

This morning the Mom pointed her finger at me and said "You have to stop going apeshit every morning, and you especially have to stop running across the bed when I'm trying to sleep," but I'm not going apeshit I'm just playing and running while I wait for her to wake up, and this morning when I played and I ran I moved my bed and my tunnel and the front carpet runner and a bunch of my toys right into the middle of the living room, because that way we won't forget any of them when we move, but Max says it's too soon to worry about that, and to ignore the Mom because she's lazy and sleeps too late anyway.

I'm looking for something! I have to read everything in here to find it. It helps that the drawer broke 2 years ago and the Dad hasn't fixed it even though he said he would...2 years ago.



Found it!
Now the Mom can get back to work.



I have been very very very busy lately. Not only do I have the job of Official Paper Holder Downer, but I have found a new hobby to take up time when I am not working. It's called howl at all closed doors. First I howled at the front door, making the Mom think I wanted to go outside. I did that for many days in a row, lots of times every day.

Then I howled at the door that leads to the room where the rumbly bikes sleep. I did that many days in a row, too, many times a day.

Today I am howling at the pantry door, which confuses the Mom because it doesn't really lead anywhere and none of my food is kept there.

When I'm not holding down papers and howling at doors, I'm running around the house like my butt is on fire. This is great exercise (that's how I'm skinny and Max is NOT) and it makes the Mom get up and make sure there's nothing wrong with me. She doesn't really like it in the middle of the night, though, especially if Max does it too so we can play Thundering Herd Of Elephants.

I have a lot to do every day, and it doesn't seem like there's enough time to do it all.

=sigh=

I'm not talking to the wall. I'm talking to the front door, saying open, open, open because I want to go outside, only no one ever takes me outside, they just sit there and say "No, Buddah" or "Stop talking to the wall, Buddah" or "Is there a buggy there?" I never get to go outside and I want to because I can see it from the window and it looks like a lot of fun and I think I would have a goos time, but all I ever hear is NO.

I think I learned this before but I learned it again tonight. If you go into the giant litterbox room with the Mom, and she leans over to pick something up off the floor, it's not a good time to jump on her back and chew on her hair. Just so you know.

I'm a bad blogger, I know.

But I got a job!

I'm a Paper Holder Downer!

It doesn't pay anything but I get crunchy treats and I get to sit on the desk by the Mom.

It keeps me busy...but I'll try to be a better blogger, I promise!

A few days ago Max said "Sunday is Father's Day" and I wanted to know what that was and he said "It's when men get presents from their kids and sometimes women who are both mom and dad to their kids" and I said "Oh no! I don't have a present for the Dad!" and he said that was all right and that we weren't expected to get anything but I really really wanted to get him something and asked Max to give me some of his money and he sighed really hard and said "All right, we'll make the Woman go shopping. What do you want to get him?" but I didn't know so I asked Max what he would like and Max thought for a while and said, "Seedies. He would like a couple of seedies." So that's what we asked the Mom to get. Seedies! Well, Max got him something to watch on TV that he thought was good because the people on it use the F-word alot and Max thinks that's pretty funny, but that's just how Max is.

After the Dad woke up he got to open his presents and he really liked them and said he was going to make copies of his seedies! And then the Other Dad took him to the room where the rumbly bikes sleep to show him the present he got, it's this giant box to cook food on outside and it has a shiny cover so the birds won't poop on the food. He really really liked it. But I think he likes the seedies more because he wanted to make copies of them before he went to pass gas tonight. He didn't want to make copies of anything else.

Oh and you know what? You don't plant seedies to grow anything from them. I think all you do is make copies of them. If you keep making copies then you have lots of seedies, and if you have lots of seedies you win!

Oh! You know what? There's lots of bugs in the house! I keep finding them all over the place and they let me play with them as long as I want, but they get tired of playing before I do and curl up into little balls and don't move anymore. I try to get them to play more by batting them around on the floor, but they just won't get out of the ball. So I eat them. Max says it's rude to eat the things you play with, but I can't help myself. Plus, they're tasty.

Buddah's Photo Essay

This is the Dad. He had a funny blue dangly thingy he tried to get me to play with.



I've never seen this kind of thingy before!



It kept moving and I wasn't sure I wanted to catch it.



I decided to jump into the cube, just in case. Max even runned away right after this.



Since I couldn't figure it out, I decided to just hide until it went away.



It went away, so I winned!

Dona Nobis Pacem

Last night when the Mom went to bed I jumped up on the bed and she growled at me! I was on her legs and she made a grrrr noise and it scared me so I backed up onto her feet and she made it again and then said "Oh! Sweetie, I'm sorry, I was just playing!" on account of she could feel me tremble a tiny little bit, so when she said "awwwww," I walked up and sat on her chest and put my nose on hers--because you know when you do that, when you put your nose on a people's nose they can hear what you're thinking--and I thinked That was not nice. Please don't do that again and she rubbed the top of my head and said "I'm sorry. I promise I won't do that again," so I thinked all right...I'm going to plop down on you now and you're not allowed to move and I did, I plopped right down on top of her and she didn't move for a long long time, not until I decided I wanted to play in the closet.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

The Dad put a thingy out the window for the birds!

They get to eat food there and I get to watch them!

But you know what? I can't get to them, and I keep hitting my head on the window 'cause I keep trying to chase them.

Max says I'm never gonna get one, but I keep forgetting that...

Looky!



The Mom made a space on her desk just for me!
I can nap there or just sit there and I can see the little TV from there!
It's very important, because I can be a really good snoopervisor from there.

This looks like moving, doesn't it?

It looked like moving to me, and I got upset and had to look away from everything and look out the window instead.

I mean, when a bed and clothes and everything get moved from upstairs, that means moving. And I don't want to move. But Max didn't get upset, he just curled up on the climbing tower and took a nap and told me to stop worrying so much. The Mom's stuff was coming downstairs and the Other Dad's stuff was going upstairs because the Mom has trouble with stairs.

They took a bed upstairs so I guess it evens out and means we're not moving. But I stil don't like it.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

There's a new kitty in the house! I don't know his name yet or even if it's a boy kitty but he's very quiet and he wears glasses and he didn't get mad when I licked his ear like Max would. He just sat there and let me check him out, and was very nice about the whole thing.

I thought he might want to play, so I went and got him a toy mousie. I think he's kind of shy because he didn't seem to want to play with it yet but I think he might later. So I plopped down to keep him compnay for a while. Max doesn't like him, but who's surprised by that???