The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

Looky! Can you believe the Mom was gonna throw this away???

I sat on it and claimed it, so now I get to keep it.

Looky! Looky! Hell froze over! We have proof!

Our butts are almost touching!

Looky! The Mom made the fire thingy go!

I sat in front of it for a long time, until I was all toasty and warm and had to go find something to play with, and that was fun because the Mom gave me a twist tie that she made into a loop so that I wouldn't accidentally swallow it and I batted that around for a long long time, an look, we have a new rug and it's lots of fun to roll around on because it's softer than the floor.

Looky, the Mom was rubbing yellow on the walls and I snoopervised to make sure it got done right.

I got a little on my tail a few days ago, but it's all gone now so it's okay, but it would have been nice if she's told me that the walls were wet and the stuff would come off if I flicked my tail on one.

Oh man yesterday I had a tummy ache and I barfed all over the place and didn't want to eat when the Dad gave us Stinky Goodness in the morning and I didn't even want crunchy treats...all I wanted was to curl up on the comfy chair and sleep so he let me go curl up and I stayed there all day long until the Mom was making herself some lunch at 2 o'clock and then I wanted a crunchy treat so she let me eat one and then let me eat a bunch, but she didn't try to make me eat anything else, she just petted me and groped my ears and said "You're a little warm there, Little Man" and later the Dad tried to give me tuna water but I didn't want it, but when it was time for the Mom to open a can at 9 I wanted some and ate half, and this morning I ate almost a whole can so I think i feel a little better.

Oh no! Today was a horrible day and even though the horrible is over I can still smell it all over the house and it smells like woofy and I got to see the woofy because the Mom picked me up and showed me to him while the Other Dad held him and I was not happy but I didn't cry, not until I saw this:

He sat in my special spot and the Other Dad was sitting on the Gizzy and I think they let the woofy sit on the Gizzy too because I can smell him all over it and I don't know what I'll do because I don't think I'll ever get over this and then I heard the Mom and the Dad say that the woofy is coming back soon and he's staying for 4 whole days and they won't be here to protect me and I think the Other Dad will but the woofy might eat me.

Max says the new gizzy is his...

...but I got on it anyway.

And look where he got stuck sitting!





Hahahahahahaha!

OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!!!!

I'M FAMOUSER THAN MAX!!!

Looky! I'm in the September issue of Reader's Digest! On page 113!



They didn't spell it exactly right but that's okay because it's ME and IT'S NOT MAX!!!

Looky! I got a new box!

The Mom thinks it's funny but I dunno why.

And her friend in Wiskeronsin sended me some duckies!



The Mom says they were for her but I don't think so. What's she gonna do with duckies? I knew as soon as she opened the package they were for me and I tried very hard to tell her that and it took her a while to realize they were perfect for Buddah.

I tried to nom one



but it doesn't taste like chicken, oh no...

What to do on a hot afternoon:

This morning I wanted to play Thundering Herd of Elephants but Max was busy trying to get the Mom to get her lazy butt outta bed and I was disappointed but he said to go ahead and play with myself, because there's nothing wrong with that, so I did! I ran up and down the hall and made my feets thunder as loud as they could and you know what!? There was a blanket in the hall because someone left it there after they changed the sheets and I think they forgot about it because it's been there for like forever, and when I was running I jumped on it and I surfed down the hall on it! That was great fun! When the Mom got up she went into her litter box room and I was gonna play for a little bit longer while I waited for her to come out and open cans of Stinky Goodness but then I thought I better go make room for it so i went to my litter box and then when the Mom came out of her litter box room she said "Oh my god Buddah! hat crawled up in your a$$ and died???" but I couldn't answer her because I never saw anything go anywhere near my butt, and I sure didn't feel it crawl inside.

I have been very very very busy helping the Mom work lately. Here I am telling her that it's time to get back to work:

She says I'm being very helpful while I lie on her desk and block her view of the monitor, which I think is a good thing because I'm trying hard to be helpful, and sometimes I even touch the ENTER key on the keyboard for her which creates new and interesting paragraphs and she's very polite because she always says, "Gee, thanks for that."

My job would be easier if she would clean all the krap off her desk but I don't think that's ever going to happen because there's a lot of it and if she stopped to clean it up she might never get any work done.

Oh, oh, oh! Last night the Mom was sleepin' on her stomach and I wanted to sleep on the bed with her so I jumped up there but Max was already there at the foot of the bed and he really doesn't like it when I get up there but I figured the Mom was there so it was all right, and I tried to crawl on top of her and curl up where it was safe, but Max decided he wanted to do that too, and we both wanted to sleep on her squishy butt, so we would up having a fight right there on her asterisk!

She was not happy about it and chased us both off the bed so I didn't get to sleep with her but the good news is that neither did Max!

Oh, you know what? When I bit the Mom the other day I left pokey holes, four of them, and the next day she looked and one was a little red and had a zit like thingy on it, so she popped it and then she cleaned everything out really really well and it looks all better now but I still don't know why I did it and last night when we were on the bed together and I was close to her face she was a little bit afraid that I was gonna do it again, but to her nose.

Look! The Mom got me a new blog layout thingy and this one is really pretty and she says it fits my whimsy better, but I dunno about that because no one has ever tried to measure my whimsy and I'm not sure I'd let the because I don't know what that is, and it sounds kinda like it might have something to do with my missing hoo-has.

She's gonna add a blogroll for me later because the one I used to have was really outdated and there are lots of new kitties but she can't just import one like it was french wine or whatever that means, so she has to do it by hand and says that will have to wait for a time when she's either really bored or stoned out of her mind. Max says he hopes for the latter, so please start chucking rocks at her.

(Oh and pee ess, comments are now above posts instead of below and that's kinda confusing I guess...)

Oh you know what I did yesterday? I bit the Mom on the arm and I left 4 pokey holes and she is NOT happy with me, and she said bad words and wanted to know WHY I bited her because she was just sitting here and I jumped in her lap like I wanted to be petted but I chomped down on her arm like it was a crunchy treat but I couldn't tell her why because I DON'T KNOW!

I know it's been a very very very very very very very long time since I blogged but the Mom has been hogging the computers, all of them, and when she takes a break Max is all OH NO YOU DON'T if I try to go near one because he thinks he's, like, special or something and that all the kitties want to her from him, so I never ever ever get a chance but sometimes no one is using the computers but there are things outside the window to look at and get excited about, like this GIANT bluejay that was in the front yard, and I was looking out my special screen door and it was YELLING at me like HA HA HA HA I'M OUTSIDE AND YOU'RE NOT and I thought that was very rude and he doesn't know that if someone would open the door I would EAT him.

Look at this ! Look Looko Look!!!

This thing keeps wandering around the house and it already has the Dad and I'm pretty sure if it catches me IT'S GOING TO EAT ME! So far I've stayed way way away from it but the Dad keeps saying "It's just me, Buddah" but I know better that thing is eating him and it wants me too! Max keeps going near it but it doesn't seem to move much when he's near it so I don't think it wants an old flabby kitty to snack on, it just wants a tender young JOOSY kitty! IT'S LIKE A VISHUS DEER!!! I think I'm going to stay on top of the climbing tower because it can't get me up there.

I am really really really going to miss the Dad when it's done eating him.

LOOKY!

The Grandma came she she gave us treats, and we ate them right out of her hand and I've never done that before, probably because the Mom and the Dad just plunk them down on the counter and expect us to eat them that way, but this was pretty cool and I think we should try it again! In fact, the Dad is at the store buying more treats so maybe we'll get some later!