Buddah's Photo Essay
Dona Nobis Pacem
Last night when the Mom went to bed I jumped up on the bed and she growled at me! I was on her legs and she made a grrrr noise and it scared me so I backed up onto her feet and she made it again and then said "Oh! Sweetie, I'm sorry, I was just playing!" on account of she could feel me tremble a tiny little bit, so when she said "awwwww," I walked up and sat on her chest and put my nose on hers--because you know when you do that, when you put your nose on a people's nose they can hear what you're thinking--and I thinked That was not nice. Please don't do that again and she rubbed the top of my head and said "I'm sorry. I promise I won't do that again," so I thinked all right...I'm going to plop down on you now and you're not allowed to move and I did, I plopped right down on top of her and she didn't move for a long long time, not until I decided I wanted to play in the closet.
The Dad put a thingy out the window for the birds!
They get to eat food there and I get to watch them!
But you know what? I can't get to them, and I keep hitting my head on the window 'cause I keep trying to chase them.
Max says I'm never gonna get one, but I keep forgetting that...
It looked like moving to me, and I got upset and had to look away from everything and look out the window instead.
I mean, when a bed and clothes and everything get moved from upstairs, that means moving. And I don't want to move. But Max didn't get upset, he just curled up on the climbing tower and took a nap and told me to stop worrying so much. The Mom's stuff was coming downstairs and the Other Dad's stuff was going upstairs because the Mom has trouble with stairs.
They took a bed upstairs so I guess it evens out and means we're not moving. But I stil don't like it.
There's a new kitty in the house! I don't know his name yet or even if it's a boy kitty but he's very quiet and he wears glasses and he didn't get mad when I licked his ear like Max would. He just sat there and let me check him out, and was very nice about the whole thing.
Oh! And you see the Lady Rabbit there, too? It hides the sucky monster. I killed it. Now its head just flops to the side. It still hides the sucky monster, but it doesn't look happy about it.
Monty and William and Zippy, Sadie and Speedy and The Furry Kids and Edsel all tagged me for the 7 things memememe! I hope just 7 is enough and I don't have to do 7 for everyone who tagged me, cause I don't think I can count that high yet.
Ok. Seven Things About Buddah.
1. When I was a tiny baby kitty I was in this place that wanted to send me to the Rainbow Bridge but then someone from the Espeeceeay came, I think it was Superman, and said "Never fear, I will save you!" and he did. He saved me and my brothers and sisters and other kitties and took us to the Espeeceeay and found our forever homes for us. I was sick and no one knew it and I made Max sick and he almost died, and he still holds that against me.
2. I'm not a lap kitty even though I am very affectionate and need lots of hugs and kisses every day. I jump on the Mom for Commando Cuddling and then I run off to play with something else. She thinks there's a bug up my butt making me do that, but I've looked and I can't find it.
3. I know when it's 11 o'clock at night even though I can't read a clock, and I tell the Mom it's time for crunchy snack, and she gets me and Max a little bit of crunchy food, and I get a little more than Max because he's fat and I'm not.
4. I can open the closet doors and the Mom is very proud of that because it means I can keep myself amused all night long while she's busy sleeping and not paying attention to me.
5. Buddah is my real name and it's not spelled wrong even though there was a famous guy named Buddha but I have lots of other names, too. I'm Little Man, sweetie, sweet pea, sweet cheeks, fluffball, babycakes, pumpkin, pretty boy, and No No No Stop That.
6. I like very high places and this house has lots of them, and the best part is that I can get to them but Max can't.
7. Max isn't the only kitty in this house with a job. He's a writer, but *I'm* the Snoopervisor, and the Mom and the Dad need me to make sure things get done, and I take my job very seriously. I don't make money like Max does but that's ok, because if I need any, I just ask him and he finds a way to get me what I want. Even though he doesn't like me.
I did it! That's seven! I can't tag anyone cause think everykitty on the planet has already been tagged.
Oh! I learned something this morning. I learned that if the Mom is sitting in the bathroom and she leans over to pick something off the floor, that's not a good time to jump onto her back. Well, it's a fun time but not a good one. At least not for her.
Oh, you know what? Yesterday I was really really hungry even thoughy I got a whole can of Stinky Goodness for breakfast and I kept telling the Mom I needed something to eat but she kept saying "You just ate, sweetpea" and I said "I didn't eat a sweet pea, I ate Stinky Goodness!" So then I jumped onto her lap and rubbed my head on her and she picked me up and said "Your tummy is actually growling!" and I said "I know!" so she sneaked crunchy food into the bathroom and let me eat a little bit. But Max heard and he was outside the bathroom banging on the door saying "LET ME IN! I want food too!" but when I was done eating the Mom opened the door and acted like I didn't get extra food when Max didn't. She sneaked the food container back out so Max was looking at the empty bowl and wanted to know why I had my bowl in the bathroom and why was my tag pinging on it when there was no food there but then the Mom came back and picked him up and said "Sorry, Big Guy, but it's just an empty bowl" and she took him to the climbing tree and rubbed his head and made him forget he might have missed a snack in the bathroom.
The Dad couldn't find the thingy he wears on his arm that tells him what time it is for 2 days so he borrowed the mom's time thingy because she didn't need it since Max always tells her when it's time to feed the kitties, and he looked and looked for his time thingy and yesterday he found it under the bed and it had some little toothy marks on it, and you know what? They think I was playing with it! Max is the one who likes to treat things to a toothy death so I don't know why they think it was me, even though I like to play with thingies and carry them around in my mouth and sometimes leave them under a bed and the time thingy didn't have a toothy death, just a couple of pokey marks. No one was mad so I guess it's okay they think it was me, especially since it was.
Today I snoopervised while the Mom was getting dust off the big thingy with the TV in it and she said I was doing a very good job, so I tried to help more and move the cloth for her but she said that wasn't being helpful, so I grabbed it with my claws and ran away with it. She sighed real hard and said "well I guess that means I'm done" and I thought yep, now you're done so you can come play with me, but then she got out the sucky monster and made lots of noise. I didn't like that but I snoopervised anyway. She did a very good job and I think she deserved a crunchy treat, but she didn't get one, she just opened a can of that fizzy stuff she likes to drink instead. I would have liked a crunchy treat...
Last night I found a little ball on the floor and I pushed it with my paw and it made a tinkling sound, like jingle jingle jingle so I started rolling it around and it got really loud! Then the Mom got up and said "What are you doing? It's the middle of the night." I didn't say anything, I just showed her the ball I found and how good it rolls and jingles, and then she sighed really hard and went back to bed. When I got tired of that I looked out the back door and there was a kitty out there, and he went to the side of the house so I jumped on the kitchen counter and tried to look at him out the window there but the shade thingy was down so I had to hit it and stick my head through the slats and then the Mom came downstairs and said "What are you doing now?" but she saw my head in the slats and muttered something not nice but she opened it for me so I could see out but by then the kitty was gone so I got down and she said "You're taking lessons from Max, aren't you?" Then she went back to bed again and I decided that was a good time to run up and down the stairs and play Thundering Herd Of Elephants. Max decided to play, too! But I don't think the Mom appreciated that we were playing together, because I heard her say something about duct tape and furry little butts...
Max and I have a new game! It's called Thundering Herd Of Elephants and it can only be played at 2 in the morning because Max says that's when the game is the most fun and the most loud, and the whole goal of Thundering Herd Of Elephants is to run as fast as you and and be as loud as you can just using only your paws! To play, you have to start at the bottom of the stairs and run up, then down the hallway, then into the Mom's office where you tag the climbing trees so hard they go THUNK on the wall, then you run back down the hall and the stairs and do it all over again until the Mom gets up and says "Holy crap, you two sound like a thundering herd of elephants!" And then maybe she says she's going to duct tape your little paws together but she doesn't really mean it. Then you stop until she goes back to bed, after that you can do it all over again. Max says the more kitties who play this the better it is, so if you have lots of kitties in your family you should do this with all of them. It's terrific fun!
Ha Ha Ha Ha LOOKY!
I'm sorry I didn't blog in so long but I've been so busy since my birthday playing with my toys and then the Dad put up the Supreme Commander Kitty Tower and I've been playing on that with Max (even when he doesn't want to play) and then Max showed me something on Skeezix's blog and I've been using my internet time (and I don't get alot) to look for it at stores online -- I want Skeezix's stroller! Every morning when the Dad comes home from passing gas I try to get outside but he won't let me, but I think if I had one of these he and the Mom would take me for walks. I really, really want one but Max says he's not gonna give me the money and I don't get an allowance. Max says I have to write a book but that's a lot of words for a two year old to write, I think. How does a kitty get the stuff he wants when he can't get a job???
I had a very fun birthday yesterday. Thank you for all the birthday wishes, that made me smile a lot. Max was nice to me and played with me a little, even when I didn't feel like playing, he just jumped on top of me and tried to wrestle!
Tonight I was standing on the Mom's lap saying "Please can we have snack? I'm awfully hungry" and you know what Max did? He walked over and jumoed in her lap too and I thought we were gonna sit there together and be nice like Grr, Midnight, and Cocoa are in their laundry basket but he head butted me onto the floor. That wasn't very nice.
Oh and you know how the Mom knows it's me chewing on her shoelaces? She catched me doing it a couple of times. I don't know whay it's a bad thing, it's not like I'm eating her whole shoe. I only do it because it seems very important and I like to do very important things.
The Mom says I have to stop chewing on her shoelaces when she's sleeping, but when she's awake they're on her feet and I can't get to them, so how am I supposed to chew on them if I don't do it when she's asleep???
yay! the M's tagged me! So I did it, I answered all the questions and here they are!
A) Four places I have lived:
1. In a cage in a bad place, called a K-I-L-L shelter
2. The Espeeceeay, they saved me
3. In an apartment with Max and the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad
4. In 2 houses!
B) Four things I love to watch:
1. Birdies outside the window
2. the little red dot zooming on the floor
3. toilet water, just like Max!
4. Stnky Goodness as my face gets close to it
C) Four places I have been outside my home:
1. The stabby place
2. Outside in my harness
3. The car thingy
4. Um...I don't know of 4
D) Four websites I visit daily:
I'm not allowed to play unsnoopervised on the Net, so I just go to cat blogs
E) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Stinky Goodness
2. Temptations crunchy treats
3. Fancy Feast crunchy food
4. Um...that's it
F) Four places I would rather be right now:
Wy would I wanna be somewhere else? There's food here and stairs to run on and the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad and Max!
G) Four toys I have owned and played with:
1. Mousies!
2. A fevvur thingy
3. a Cat dancer thingy
4. The Mom's fingers, which aren't very tasty
H) Four nicknames my staff have tried to assign me:
1. Little Man
2. Buddah Butt
3. Sweetykins
4. Sweetcheeks
I) Regarding Catnip:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
J) Regarding Cat Grass:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
K) First four things I'd buy after winning the lottery:
1. A house for the Mom and the Dad
2. A house for the Other Dad, as long as he'll come back to see me
3. Shrimp for Max
4. Crunchy treats for ALL OF US!
L) Four things I do besides eat, sleep, and litterbox:
1. I run around like my butt is on fire
2. I jump up to the highest place I can get
3. I play fetch
4. I jump on Max and make him really mad
M) Four things I want to do this summer:
1. Find my balls. I think they're under the frigidator.
2. Learn to speak Spanish
3. Figger out what's happening on general hospital
4. Make Max like me
N) My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else:
But everything I have is important to everyone!
O) What I’m going to do before tomorrow is over:
1. Take a bath
2. Make max mad
3. Make the Mom say "Ohhhh you're so cute!"
P) Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play?
Paper bags
Plastic bags
Boxes
Other (please describe)
Q) Four other "pets" your staff have kept with you:
Max
and a woofy, but that's all I can amember.
R) Four furiends I tag to respond:
I don't know!
Looky! The Dad had the clicky-flashy box today and he pointed it at me and took my picture!
I got new grass! I was taking a nap and sleeping really good but I heard the Mom and the Dad come home so I went downstairs to say Hi and Feed Me, and there it was, right by the fireplace, a whole new thing of grass for me to chew on! There's a grass fairy! That's like Santa, but I think the grass fairy has boobs.
I was taking a nap today and when I waked up I went into the Mom's office and this was there waiting for me! Max was looking at it but he was more like "Eh, it's a cube" but I wanted to get inside and play so I did and there's a dangly thing at the top I can play with and I can curl up in there and look out of it, and the Mom said "I thought you would like that. Lots of the other kitties have them and they seem to like it" and she was right I do!
Max wants to know where his present is because he doesn't think that's a good present and if I like it that means it's mine and he wants a present too dammit. Oh, but I'm not supposed to say dammit. He wants crunchy treats but the Mom said "Not right now." I would like a crunchy treat too but I'll go play in my cube instead.
This morning the Mom got up when it was still dark out and went into the giant litterbox room and then she came out and went back to bed and my tummy felt a little funny so I yakked right there in the hallway where she'd be sure to see it later but she wasn't asleep so she heard me and came out to clean it up and I was afraid she would be mad becuase she wanted to go back to sleep, but she said that was okay, she just LOVES cleaning up kitty barf before she's even away so I did a good thing!
I went into the giant literbox room with the Mom today, and she left a cabinet open for a minute so I peeked inside and I found a whole thingy full of stuff to play with! I know I shoulda asked but I didn't and when she wasn't looking I grabbed one and stuffed in just under the cabinet thingy so I could look at it better later, and then later when she was in her office I went back and looked at it again and I couldn't figure it out but it had a pretty yellow wrapper on it so I pulled the wrapper off and this THING popped out so I showed Max and he said it wasn't a toy, it was something to clean with and I asked how he knew that and he said the bag it was in said s-a-n-i-t-a-r-y and that means clean, so I figured since I took the Mom's cleaning thingy without asking I better do what it says to so I rubbed it all over the floor and cleaned up lots of dust, and then the Mom came in and saw and said "Ohhhh, sweetie, that's not a toy" and she took it away and put it in the trash, but that's ok because I cleaned the floor!
I snoopervised again! The Dad and the Mom brought home this big box with a thingy in it that Max says will make them say bad words for a while and then it will be a coat rack but mostly we'll be able to sit on it and look cool, and the Dad said he needed to put it together dammit, so I knew he might need help so I snoopervised for him.
I think I killed it.
I eated it almost down to nothing, and now there's not enough grass to munch on! I asked the Mom if she would make it grow taller but she didn't answer, she just said "Yep, you did a number on that, didn't you?" I'm going to ask the Dad if he'll make it grow more for me. He can do it. He made it grow the first time. If he doesn't do it I'll have to ask Max to buy me more grass. He would do that, wouldn't he???
I didn't like the new Stinky Goodness very much so I didn't eat very much of it and the Mom got all worried because she thought I'd waste away to nothing so she bought me some cans of Fancy Feast because I like those a lot but then I watched Max eat and he really likes the new Stinky Goodness so last night I ate half of mine and then jumped onto the floor and said "Wanna trade?" and Max said "Ok" so I finished his and he finished mine and that was very very good, so I tried it again this morning but the Mom said "Make up your mind, Buddah" and Max didn't want to trade, so I stomped off cause my feelings were hurt but now my tummy is all growly and I know the rest of my Stinky Goodness is downstairs with a bowl over it so I can come back to it but I don't know how to ask someone to take the bowl off!
He's sitting in my favorite nap place but that's ok since I'm not sleepy and I'm sure he'll get down before I want to take a nap but even if he doesn't I can sleep somewhere else for a few minutes while he keeps looking outside.
The Mom said she had to be sneaky to take the picture because she was afraid we would run away if we saw the clicky box. She's probably right.
Psssst...dont tell Max but the Mom sneaked me some crunchy food today because she doesn't think I'll get enough to eat if all I get is Stinky Goodness twice a day because even though I weigh 14 pounds now she says I'm just a lean mean kitty machine and a little crunchy food won't hurt me and she'll keep a close eye on my tummy to make sure I don't get fat like Max did, but we can't tell max I'm getting secret crunchy food because it's a secret!
This is what the Grandma got me and Max for Christmas! The Dad opened the box for us and added the dirt and the seeds and the water, and he grew it!
It grew really fast, too, faster than anyone thinked it could.
I think it only took 32 sleeps, which Max says is about 3 days or so.
Max sniffs at it but he doesn't eat it, but I like to stick my whole face in it and put the bite on thegrass thingies.
They're pretty tasty too, but the Mom says NO BARFING after eating it. I haven't barfed but Max says sooner or later I might, and to make sure I'm at the very top of the climbing tower so that it goes flying everywhere. I think I can do that.
Oh! The Dad weighed me today and I weigh 14 pounds even though I don't look like I do! Max says I'm not allowed to say what he weighs, but I weigh his goal weight. Heh.
Oh! Max says that in a couple days the year is over and we get a whole new one, and because we get a whole new one we have to have some revolutions, and I get to do my revolutions all around the house because that's what I do best, I run around and around and around like someone stuck a firecracker up my you-know-what. A new year sounds fun, even though there's not presents like Christmas, but that's ok because I'm not done playing with all my new presenets yet, in fact I losted the balls that go to one of them and I want someone to find them for me so I can lose them again, plus in a few months it will be my birthday and I'll get a present then.
Oh! We gotted another present! The Mom and the Dad went somewhere all day yesterday and when they came back they had a present from the Grandma and it was this thingy that the Mom and the Dad can grow grass in for Max and me! Max says that I can eat the grass if I want but I have to leave it alone until it's all done growing and I'm not sure I can do that because I like to snoopervise lots of things so maybe the Mom and the Dad should grow the grass where I can't see it. Oh, and Max says it's not the kind of grass that some people think is fun grass, it's only grass that kitties think is fun grass, he says I have to stress that cause then some hophead might want me to sell him some of my grass and even though I like sharing Max says that would get me thrown into kitty jail.
Max is trying to switch his blog to the new Blogger and it's hiccuping so
he's hoping it won't get lost in the Internets and if it does he says he gets to say any bad word he can think of.
Santa came and he listened to me and he remembered that I needed a new sproingy toy AND he gotted us this other thing that has holes in it and there are balls in it and I can reach in and roll the balls and if I do it just right I can get them out! And you know what? Max let me play with the new toys first! That was his Christmas present to me, he just et me play and play and play and last night before Santa came we had fish and shrimp Stinky Goodness and Max really loves that and it was from Kimo & Sabi but since Max loves it so much I took a nbble and said he could have the rest and that was my Christmas present to him!
Oh!Oh!Oh! We gotted a fevver toy, too, and the Dad played with me with it and I jumped WAY high in the air. It's like fifteen kinds of fun!
The Mom says there are more pictures at our flickr thingy.
I hope everyone had a happy Christmas!
We gotted a box today from Kimo & Sabi! They're our Secret Paws! And the Mom didn't even make us wait for Christmas to open the box!
We got lots of fun stuff and Max is still whacked out on the kitty crack.
There are pictures at the picture thingy so you can see us having fun!
Thank you Kimo & Sabi! We're having 62 kinds of fun!
Ohhhhhh....Max is throwing a temper tantrum because the Mom got up this morning and didn't go downstairs and open a can of Stinky Goodness, all she did was go to the crunchy food and give us some of that, which I think is okay because it's the really tasty crunchy food but Max is MAD.
I really like this toy. It's fun to jump on and swing the balls and make the stick thingies go sproiiiiing! and I like to scratch it.
Last night I wanted to play with it but I couldn't find it anywhere! It wasn't in the big room with the big floppy comfy chair like it usually is so I looked in the room with the TV and then the kitchen and I even peeked in the Other Dad's room, because he might have wnated to play with it, and that's ok because I don't mind sharing my toys, but it wasn't there either.
It wasn't in any room so I asked Max, I said "Do you know where my sproingy toy is because I think I losted it" and he sighed really hard because he was licking himself and had to stop to answer me and he doesn't like to stop when he's doing that and he said "I saw the Man take it outside. The Woman said you pretty much destroyed it, and it needed to be thrown away."
I loved that toy! I was really upset and wanted to cry because no one asked me if I was DONE with the toy and if it was OKAY to throw it away, but Max sighed again and said "Look. Ask Santa to bring you a new one. If you've been good enough, he will." And then I told Max I didn't know how to ask Santa for anything, I just thought he brought whatever he wanted to, and Max said, yeah, mostly, but he's a nice guy and might bring me something I really really want, so I should get on here and maybe Santa will read it.
So...Santa, if you're reading this, I really really really miss my toy already and if I've been good enough, can I have a new one? I think I've been good. I only pulled out a little of Max's fur this week.
Max likes to sing in the middle of the night when the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad are asleep unless the Dad is gone passing gas and then he doesn't sleep until the next day but Max still likes to sing even if he's gone, and last night Max told me I had to sing, too, but I didn't want to, all I wanted to do was sleep on top of the climbing tower and Max said I was going to sing and I said no so he sat on me. I didn't sing but I hollered for the Mom so I guess maybe it sounded like singing.
This morning after the Dad came home and gave us our Stinky Goodness he went into another room to sleep so he wouldn't wake up the Mom with all the funny noises his nose makes and I got really really cold so I waited until I couldn't stand it anymore and I went into the room where the Mom was asleep and I said "Please wake up" and she rolled over and said "Hi sweetie" and I said again "Please get up" and she looked at the clock and said "I slept a little later than I usually so" and I said "That's ok but please get up" and she said "Do you need water?" and I said no but she was getting up and she said "Give me a minute to go potty and I'll check your water" and then she went off but the she came back and said "Your water is fine" but by then I was curled up right smack in the middle of the bed on the fuzzy blanket where it was all nice and warm and then she said "You little..." but she didn't make me get up she just said I was too cute.
This morning it was a little bit cold so when the Mom sat down to read the paper I jumped up in her lap because I thought that make make me warmer, and she said "Buddah, your fur is cold!" and I thought about saying "well duh" but I didn't, I just snuggled in and got all warmed up. She said it was hard to read the paper with me on her lap but I don't usually get on her lap like that because I usually get on it and then see something fun and run off but I started to fall asleep so she put the paper down until an hour later when she said she had to get up to take some drugs and then I had to get up, but when she came back she picked me up and said "Ok, you can sit on me some more if you want" and I still wanted to so I stayed in her lap for two more hours until the Dad woke up, and even then I didn't get up, not until the Other Dad moved a chair and the noise made me jump. Sitting in her lap was nice and she's really kinda squishy so if it's cold again tomorrow I might do it again.
Ohhhhhh...you know what? A booster doesn't taste like chicken, all it does is feel like getting stabbed in the butt.
Today the Dad was putting thingies on the wall to hold back the curtains over the windows and I helped him by being the snooperviser and he said I did a very good job but the whole time I kept trying to help by moving screws off the window sill and he kept saying I couldn't play with them even though I wasn't trying to play with them, I was trying to move them because I was pretty sure he didn't want them to stay on the window sill forever and forever but in the end he stuck them in the wall so I guess he didn't need them moved cause now he'll always know where they are, someplace no one gets to play with them.
The Mom and The Dad and the Other Dad had chicken for dinner tonight and they saved some for me and Max and Max really really really really likes chicken and he's be really really really whiny lately because he keeps getting caught doing stuff to me even though I do stuff to him to but I never get caught and I think he felt like he was being picked on so I let him eat my chicken. And you know what? Tonight when we went into the Mom's office place to get on the climbing trees he didn't even yell at me, he just went onto one and I went onto the other and we took naps.
Last night I wanted to play mousie fetch but the Mom was getting ready for bed and said we couldn't throw the mousie in the hall because it would wake the Other Dad up like it did last week when we played mousie fetch really late at night so she throwed it around the room a little bit but that wasn't as much fun, so she said we would play in the morning when she got up, and I didn't like that but since she said she would I went to the climbing tree and took a nap on that.
This morning the Dad came home and he gave us our Stinky Goodness and he went to bed and I waited and I waited for the Mom, but she wasn't getting up, so I got my mousie and I went into the bedroom and I jumped up on the bed and I dropped it on her face and Max was all "ohhhh she's going to be mad" but when she opened her eyes she said "Hi, sweetie" and she said she didn't forget but I had to let her get dressed and then we would go downstairs to play so we didn't wake the Dad up and Max said "Cripes, someone is always sleeping" but I didn't say anything I just waited for her to get dressed, and she did, she got dressed and took my mousie downstairs, and she throwed it in the living room and I got to chase it and bring it back over and over until I was tired of playing, and then when I was tired of playing she read the newspaper and I got on the counter to see if there was anything in the sink I could lick.
Last night the Mom and the Dad locked me in a bedroom and there was no window to see what was going on out front where there was lots of laughing, and the doorbell kept yelling ANSWER ME and since I was locked in the bedroom I didn't get to see what was happening. The Mom said "Buddah, you're a black kitty and on Halloween black kitties can be tempting for mean and stupid people" but it's not like I was going to go outside I just wanted to see what was going on so I sat by the door and kept saying LET ME OUT! over and over and over.
Max got locked in a room too but HE got to be in the room with the climbing towers AND a window he could see out front through. That was not fair. But the Mom said Max has some white fur so she wasn't worried if people saw he was there, she was just worried if they saw I was there. I thought it was because I'm so cute but Max said no it's just that no one was taking a chance on me being someone's Halloween trick. Then he head butted me, which I think was HIS Halloween trick.
Today I was not locked in a room so I snoopervised the Dad hang thingies on the windows downstairs so outside people can't see inside. I don't like thingies on the window because I like to see outside whenever I want but Max said the People need to have them, because sometimes they have to pick their noses and they don't want anyone watching.
I'd pick my nose if I could, but since I can't I just settle for running it across the Mom's cheek, and I don't care WHO sees that.
Oh. If it's still really dark outside and you're running up and down the hall and the stairs and you're chasing Max and making him yell a lot and the Mom gets out of bed and says, "Are you having fun?" the answer is not "Yes, thank you," and you really shouldn't keep running up and down the hall and the stairs and making Max yell because the Mom might get back up and say, "Stop or I'll duct tape you to a chair" and even though she's usually pretty nice, when it's really dark outside I think she really means it!
I went to the stabby place today! I got to go there in Max's plastic tomb, so I could see out the windows the whole way there and I could see the Mom and the Dad so I talked to them the whole way there but when we got there I didn't really know where I was so I shut up really fast. There were nice ladies in there and they bent over and peeked in the tomb and one of them said "Thank God, it's not Max..." The Mom and the Dad thought that was funny but I bet Max wouldn't.
They said I was a pretty boy and they wanted to know how munch I weighed so I got to sit on this great big thingy and they said "You're a big boy, Buddah!" and that I weigh 12 pounds which is what the Mom thought I still weighed, then I got to go inside a room with a shiny table and lots of different smells and the Mom and the Dad were in there with me and they let me explore until the bald guy came in.
He was really nice and said I was a good boy, too, and he looked in my ears and in my eyes and he petted me a lot and squeezed some things I didn't think needed to be squeezed, and I don't know why but he looked at my butt, too. Then he asked if I wanted some s-h-o-t-s but I didn't know what that was so I said "No thank you," and the Mom petted me and I felt some little pinches but they weren't bad. Then he turned me around and said he had to do one in my shoulder and I saw the thingy he had and I thought "This doesn't look good" but when he poked me with it it wasn't bad at all. The Mom said I was so good I deserved a treat when we got home and when we got home she opened a can of SPECIAL Stinky Goodness and I got most of it but Max got a little bit, too.
I get to go back in 3 weeks for a booster. I hope it tastes like chicken.
Max says I get to go see a bald guy tomorrow! He says I'm gonna have five kinds of fun and a car ride!
Wait...I hope this is gonna be more fun than being nootered...
Max and me weren't doing too good sharing the best spot on the climbing tower so the Mom and the Dad put another one right next to it.
I would be happier if it was tall like the other one, but this is good, too, because there's no hole in the bottom so I can stretch out and enjoy the open window.
Max doesn't care as much about the open window so he's happy up on top of the tall tower.
The Other Dad says we're very spoiled and the Mom and the Dad say Yep, they are. Max says they just want to save what little sanity they have left. I don't care as long as I get to sit by the open window.
And looky!
The Mom said, "Buddah, when I'm getting stuff out of the dishwasher it's not good time to jump on my back." But you know what? I thik that's the best time because then she's all bended over and her back makes a nice flat place for me to jump to. Then she said "You're really not helping" but I wasn't trying to help. I was just trying to jump on her. And I did!
Oh! Today when the Mom and the Dad weren't home these thingies in the house that are stuck on the ceiling started going eeee-eeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeeee and they wouldn't shut up and it hurt my ears and it hurt Max's ears so he hid under a bed and I just ran around trying to figure out how to make it stop but I couldn't so I did a lot of running for nothing.
I don't know how long for sure it kept screaming eeee-eeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeeee but it seemed like forever and then the Dad came in and took the thingies off the cieling and tried to figure out why they were screaming and said he had no idea because nothing was smoking or anything like that so he blew air into them and put them back and they were quiet.
Until later when they started screaming again and he got them to stop but then they did it again and now he thinks they're broken so they won't shut up. Well, if I was broken I think I would scream too, but maybe not so loud. He says he has to call someone and tell them the cieling shriekers are broken and maybe they'll fix them. Max says take them to the stabby place, because the bald guy there fixes broken kitties, maybe he can fix broken shriekers too.
This is the bookcase the Mom and the Dad put for me to jump onto from the high place:
Can you see me there?
I'm on the big comfy chair! The Mom says to ignore the clutter because she's not done putting the room together but I think the room is fine just like it is, and you know what? Those bookcases aren't the only ones in the room, on the wall you can't see by the stairs there are 3 more and one is 8 foot tall! That's the one they want me to use to jump down on when I get on the high place on the wall.
I like the big comfy chair because it gets a lot of sun and I can nap there and be all toasty warm but then if I want I can go over to the other side of the room and nap on the black couch where it feels all nice and cool on my skin and there's another window there I can lok out if I want. Two windows! You can't see them in the picture.
I think this is my favorite room and I'm the only one who uses it much, so it's all mine!
The Mom and the Dad put a bookcase where I can jump onto it when I get on the very top wall and need to get down but it's the same color as the floor so when I'm up there I can't see it very well so I get really scared and I won 't jump so the Dad has to reach out and get me again. The Mom made me stay up there for a whole hour because she wanted me to figure it out for myself but I just couldn't so they said they're going to get something to put on top of the bookcase that is a different color and won't slide out from under my feet and if that doesn't work the Dad is going to build me a ramp because they know I'm going to keep going up there no matter what.
It's hard to tell, but I got to the really high place on the wall! I got there all by myself and the Dad said "Oh, no, Buddah..." and the Mom said "I have got to get the camera" and I said "Um, I don't know how to get down from here" so I went all the way to the side and the Dad went upstairs and reached over the rail thingy and picked me up.
He said "Don't go there again!" but the Mom said "He'll figure out a way down on his own next time" which means she thinks I'll go there again and she right but I'm not sure I'll figure out how to get down.
At first I was sad when we got to the new house because I was very very scared so I climbed inside the Dad's blue chair and wouldn't come out until he made me, and also because there was no new toy for us here. Last time we moved there was a new toy and I thought there would be one here, too. But after I wasn't as scared I started looking arund and I realized the whole house is a toy! The Mom and the Dad got us a giant playground!
Oh and the floors are all slidy, so when we play mousie, I run after it and I try to stop, but my butt keeps going, and it's at least 5 kinds of fun! And there are lots of windows to look out of. I haven't seen any rude cats out of one, but Max says they're there, he can smell them.
I think maybe he just smells himself.
Max is gonna give me money! He said so! He said a promise is a promise and when we're in our new house he'll tell the Mom to take some of his book money to buy new glasses! And I believe him, I really do.
And the Mom moved our climbing thingy from the place where the compouter is to a bedroom. Max says that's Bad News because they also took all the other stuff out of that bedroom. He thinks they're going to lock us up in there all day tomorrow. I think they just wanted to let us have a new view.
There has been alot of stuff disappearing the last couple of days. I don't like that at all. Yesterday I was in a bedroom and they closed the door, and when they opened it the table with the rolly balls was gone! Max said some strange people showed up and took it! I liked that table!
Max says all the rest of the stuff is probably at the new place, but just in case they're throwing it all away, I've been sleeping on top of the Mom and being extra cute, so she doesn't let someone take me, too. He says she won't because she likes tormenting him and I do that the best of all, but I wanna be sure.
Looky! Looky! A nice lady named Sandi emailed me this for proof!
Max hasta give me money, 'cause Satan is ALREADY ice skating!!!
Hahahahahahaha! He's gonna be really mad!
Ohhh. I was snoopervisin' while the Mom put stuff into boxes and I thought I better help, but when I went to look in the box to see what we were putting in it I knocked it over, and now the Mom says I have to buy the whole family a set of new glasses to drink out of. And you know what? For an old lady she can move pretty fast because I jumped away from it when it started to fall but she caught me in midair and said "DON'T FALL ON THE BROKEN GLASS!" I wasn't planning on it but it was fun that she caught me. Do you think Max will give me money for the new glasses? He said he would when Satan went ice skating, but I think the Mom wants them before it gets that cold out.
Please, Can I Have A Bigger Box???
I gotta learn to do this!
Max said, "Buddah, you have to write in your bog more often." But I've been so busy lately. There are lots and lots of boxes to play with right now. And the Mom plays mousie fetch with me. And I have to run around like my butt is on fire. I want to write more but I don't always have time! Oh and the Mom says I'm a nice boy because I let Max have my chicken tonight. I hope that means maybe she'll give me a crunchy treat later.
Hahahahahahaha part deux
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
