The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

King of the run-on sentence...

Oh! Max says that in a couple days the year is over and we get a whole new one, and because we get a whole new one we have to have some revolutions, and I get to do my revolutions all around the house because that's what I do best, I run around and around and around like someone stuck a firecracker up my you-know-what. A new year sounds fun, even though there's not presents like Christmas, but that's ok because I'm not done playing with all my new presenets yet, in fact I losted the balls that go to one of them and I want someone to find them for me so I can lose them again, plus in a few months it will be my birthday and I'll get a present then.

Oh! We gotted another present! The Mom and the Dad went somewhere all day yesterday and when they came back they had a present from the Grandma and it was this thingy that the Mom and the Dad can grow grass in for Max and me! Max says that I can eat the grass if I want but I have to leave it alone until it's all done growing and I'm not sure I can do that because I like to snoopervise lots of things so maybe the Mom and the Dad should grow the grass where I can't see it. Oh, and Max says it's not the kind of grass that some people think is fun grass, it's only grass that kitties think is fun grass, he says I have to stress that cause then some hophead might want me to sell him some of my grass and even though I like sharing Max says that would get me thrown into kitty jail.

Max is trying to switch his blog to the new Blogger and it's hiccuping so
he's hoping it won't get lost in the Internets and if it does he says he gets to say any bad word he can think of.

LOOKY!!!!

Santa came and he listened to me and he remembered that I needed a new sproingy toy AND he gotted us this other thing that has holes in it and there are balls in it and I can reach in and roll the balls and if I do it just right I can get them out! And you know what? Max let me play with the new toys first! That was his Christmas present to me, he just et me play and play and play and last night before Santa came we had fish and shrimp Stinky Goodness and Max really loves that and it was from Kimo & Sabi but since Max loves it so much I took a nbble and said he could have the rest and that was my Christmas present to him!

Oh!Oh!Oh! We gotted a fevver toy, too, and the Dad played with me with it and I jumped WAY high in the air. It's like fifteen kinds of fun!

The Mom says there are more pictures at our flickr thingy.

I hope everyone had a happy Christmas!


Looky!

We gotted a box today from Kimo & Sabi! They're our Secret Paws! And the Mom didn't even make us wait for Christmas to open the box!

We got lots of fun stuff and Max is still whacked out on the kitty crack.

There are pictures at the picture thingy so you can see us having fun!

Thank you Kimo & Sabi! We're having 62 kinds of fun!

Ohhhhhh....Max is throwing a temper tantrum because the Mom got up this morning and didn't go downstairs and open a can of Stinky Goodness, all she did was go to the crunchy food and give us some of that, which I think is okay because it's the really tasty crunchy food but Max is MAD.

SANTA COMES IN ONE WEEK!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!

When we moved into the last new house the Mom and the Dad gotted us this toy.

I really like this toy. It's fun to jump on and swing the balls and make the stick thingies go sproiiiiing! and I like to scratch it.

Last night I wanted to play with it but I couldn't find it anywhere! It wasn't in the big room with the big floppy comfy chair like it usually is so I looked in the room with the TV and then the kitchen and I even peeked in the Other Dad's room, because he might have wnated to play with it, and that's ok because I don't mind sharing my toys, but it wasn't there either.

It wasn't in any room so I asked Max, I said "Do you know where my sproingy toy is because I think I losted it" and he sighed really hard because he was licking himself and had to stop to answer me and he doesn't like to stop when he's doing that and he said "I saw the Man take it outside. The Woman said you pretty much destroyed it, and it needed to be thrown away."

I loved that toy! I was really upset and wanted to cry because no one asked me if I was DONE with the toy and if it was OKAY to throw it away, but Max sighed again and said "Look. Ask Santa to bring you a new one. If you've been good enough, he will." And then I told Max I didn't know how to ask Santa for anything, I just thought he brought whatever he wanted to, and Max said, yeah, mostly, but he's a nice guy and might bring me something I really really want, so I should get on here and maybe Santa will read it.

So...Santa, if you're reading this, I really really really miss my toy already and if I've been good enough, can I have a new one? I think I've been good. I only pulled out a little of Max's fur this week.

Looky!
I can be as snarky and evil as Max!



I was right behind Max on the bookcases and I was thinkin of biting him, but I didn't.

LOOKY!!!



Max letted me get in the kitty lounge with him! I got to curl up in the corner!



See, he even was relaxed enough to put his head down and snooze.
Maybe soon he'll let me stretch out, too!

Max likes to sing in the middle of the night when the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad are asleep unless the Dad is gone passing gas and then he doesn't sleep until the next day but Max still likes to sing even if he's gone, and last night Max told me I had to sing, too, but I didn't want to, all I wanted to do was sleep on top of the climbing tower and Max said I was going to sing and I said no so he sat on me. I didn't sing but I hollered for the Mom so I guess maybe it sounded like singing.

Ha ha ha ha ha
Looky!



Max really hates it when I get in the Kitty Lounge so I did it again today just to make him mad. I didn't want to stay, I just jumped up there, walked all the way around it and made him get all upset so that he started meowing to the Mom to make me go away, and then I got down. He says if I don't stop being a pest that Santa won't bring me anything, but I bet Santa would think it's funny, too.

This morning after the Dad came home and gave us our Stinky Goodness he went into another room to sleep so he wouldn't wake up the Mom with all the funny noises his nose makes and I got really really cold so I waited until I couldn't stand it anymore and I went into the room where the Mom was asleep and I said "Please wake up" and she rolled over and said "Hi sweetie" and I said again "Please get up" and she looked at the clock and said "I slept a little later than I usually so" and I said "That's ok but please get up" and she said "Do you need water?" and I said no but she was getting up and she said "Give me a minute to go potty and I'll check your water" and then she went off but the she came back and said "Your water is fine" but by then I was curled up right smack in the middle of the bed on the fuzzy blanket where it was all nice and warm and then she said "You little..." but she didn't make me get up she just said I was too cute.

This morning it was a little bit cold so when the Mom sat down to read the paper I jumped up in her lap because I thought that make make me warmer, and she said "Buddah, your fur is cold!" and I thought about saying "well duh" but I didn't, I just snuggled in and got all warmed up. She said it was hard to read the paper with me on her lap but I don't usually get on her lap like that because I usually get on it and then see something fun and run off but I started to fall asleep so she put the paper down until an hour later when she said she had to get up to take some drugs and then I had to get up, but when she came back she picked me up and said "Ok, you can sit on me some more if you want" and I still wanted to so I stayed in her lap for two more hours until the Dad woke up, and even then I didn't get up, not until the Other Dad moved a chair and the noise made me jump. Sitting in her lap was nice and she's really kinda squishy so if it's cold again tomorrow I might do it again.

Ohhhhhh...you know what? A booster doesn't taste like chicken, all it does is feel like getting stabbed in the butt.

Today the Dad was putting thingies on the wall to hold back the curtains over the windows and I helped him by being the snooperviser and he said I did a very good job but the whole time I kept trying to help by moving screws off the window sill and he kept saying I couldn't play with them even though I wasn't trying to play with them, I was trying to move them because I was pretty sure he didn't want them to stay on the window sill forever and forever but in the end he stuck them in the wall so I guess he didn't need them moved cause now he'll always know where they are, someplace no one gets to play with them.

The Mom and The Dad and the Other Dad had chicken for dinner tonight and they saved some for me and Max and Max really really really really likes chicken and he's be really really really whiny lately because he keeps getting caught doing stuff to me even though I do stuff to him to but I never get caught and I think he felt like he was being picked on so I let him eat my chicken. And you know what? Tonight when we went into the Mom's office place to get on the climbing trees he didn't even yell at me, he just went onto one and I went onto the other and we took naps.

Last night I wanted to play mousie fetch but the Mom was getting ready for bed and said we couldn't throw the mousie in the hall because it would wake the Other Dad up like it did last week when we played mousie fetch really late at night so she throwed it around the room a little bit but that wasn't as much fun, so she said we would play in the morning when she got up, and I didn't like that but since she said she would I went to the climbing tree and took a nap on that.

This morning the Dad came home and he gave us our Stinky Goodness and he went to bed and I waited and I waited for the Mom, but she wasn't getting up, so I got my mousie and I went into the bedroom and I jumped up on the bed and I dropped it on her face and Max was all "ohhhh she's going to be mad" but when she opened her eyes she said "Hi, sweetie" and she said she didn't forget but I had to let her get dressed and then we would go downstairs to play so we didn't wake the Dad up and Max said "Cripes, someone is always sleeping" but I didn't say anything I just waited for her to get dressed, and she did, she got dressed and took my mousie downstairs, and she throwed it in the living room and I got to chase it and bring it back over and over until I was tired of playing, and then when I was tired of playing she read the newspaper and I got on the counter to see if there was anything in the sink I could lick.

Last night the Mom and the Dad locked me in a bedroom and there was no window to see what was going on out front where there was lots of laughing, and the doorbell kept yelling ANSWER ME and since I was locked in the bedroom I didn't get to see what was happening. The Mom said "Buddah, you're a black kitty and on Halloween black kitties can be tempting for mean and stupid people" but it's not like I was going to go outside I just wanted to see what was going on so I sat by the door and kept saying LET ME OUT! over and over and over.

Max got locked in a room too but HE got to be in the room with the climbing towers AND a window he could see out front through. That was not fair. But the Mom said Max has some white fur so she wasn't worried if people saw he was there, she was just worried if they saw I was there. I thought it was because I'm so cute but Max said no it's just that no one was taking a chance on me being someone's Halloween trick. Then he head butted me, which I think was HIS Halloween trick.

Today I was not locked in a room so I snoopervised the Dad hang thingies on the windows downstairs so outside people can't see inside. I don't like thingies on the window because I like to see outside whenever I want but Max said the People need to have them, because sometimes they have to pick their noses and they don't want anyone watching.

I'd pick my nose if I could, but since I can't I just settle for running it across the Mom's cheek, and I don't care WHO sees that.

Oh. If it's still really dark outside and you're running up and down the hall and the stairs and you're chasing Max and making him yell a lot and the Mom gets out of bed and says, "Are you having fun?" the answer is not "Yes, thank you," and you really shouldn't keep running up and down the hall and the stairs and making Max yell because the Mom might get back up and say, "Stop or I'll duct tape you to a chair" and even though she's usually pretty nice, when it's really dark outside I think she really means it!

I went to the stabby place today! I got to go there in Max's plastic tomb, so I could see out the windows the whole way there and I could see the Mom and the Dad so I talked to them the whole way there but when we got there I didn't really know where I was so I shut up really fast. There were nice ladies in there and they bent over and peeked in the tomb and one of them said "Thank God, it's not Max..." The Mom and the Dad thought that was funny but I bet Max wouldn't.

They said I was a pretty boy and they wanted to know how munch I weighed so I got to sit on this great big thingy and they said "You're a big boy, Buddah!" and that I weigh 12 pounds which is what the Mom thought I still weighed, then I got to go inside a room with a shiny table and lots of different smells and the Mom and the Dad were in there with me and they let me explore until the bald guy came in.

He was really nice and said I was a good boy, too, and he looked in my ears and in my eyes and he petted me a lot and squeezed some things I didn't think needed to be squeezed, and I don't know why but he looked at my butt, too. Then he asked if I wanted some s-h-o-t-s but I didn't know what that was so I said "No thank you," and the Mom petted me and I felt some little pinches but they weren't bad. Then he turned me around and said he had to do one in my shoulder and I saw the thingy he had and I thought "This doesn't look good" but when he poked me with it it wasn't bad at all. The Mom said I was so good I deserved a treat when we got home and when we got home she opened a can of SPECIAL Stinky Goodness and I got most of it but Max got a little bit, too.

I get to go back in 3 weeks for a booster. I hope it tastes like chicken.

Max says I get to go see a bald guy tomorrow! He says I'm gonna have five kinds of fun and a car ride!

Wait...I hope this is gonna be more fun than being nootered...

Looky!

Max and me weren't doing too good sharing the best spot on the climbing tower so the Mom and the Dad put another one right next to it.

I would be happier if it was tall like the other one, but this is good, too, because there's no hole in the bottom so I can stretch out and enjoy the open window.

Max doesn't care as much about the open window so he's happy up on top of the tall tower.

The Other Dad says we're very spoiled and the Mom and the Dad say Yep, they are. Max says they just want to save what little sanity they have left. I don't care as long as I get to sit by the open window.

And looky!



The Mom tried to take a picture of me but said I was so black that she couldn't see me because it's dark out, so I sticked out my tongue for her. Max said, "Well isn't that special?" I think it is!

The Mom said, "Buddah, when I'm getting stuff out of the dishwasher it's not good time to jump on my back." But you know what? I thik that's the best time because then she's all bended over and her back makes a nice flat place for me to jump to. Then she said "You're really not helping" but I wasn't trying to help. I was just trying to jump on her. And I did!

Oh! Today when the Mom and the Dad weren't home these thingies in the house that are stuck on the ceiling started going eeee-eeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeeee and they wouldn't shut up and it hurt my ears and it hurt Max's ears so he hid under a bed and I just ran around trying to figure out how to make it stop but I couldn't so I did a lot of running for nothing.

I don't know how long for sure it kept screaming eeee-eeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeeee but it seemed like forever and then the Dad came in and took the thingies off the cieling and tried to figure out why they were screaming and said he had no idea because nothing was smoking or anything like that so he blew air into them and put them back and they were quiet.

Until later when they started screaming again and he got them to stop but then they did it again and now he thinks they're broken so they won't shut up. Well, if I was broken I think I would scream too, but maybe not so loud. He says he has to call someone and tell them the cieling shriekers are broken and maybe they'll fix them. Max says take them to the stabby place, because the bald guy there fixes broken kitties, maybe he can fix broken shriekers too.

This is the bookcase the Mom and the Dad put for me to jump onto from the high place:



They put a black thingy on top so I can see it and now I'm not afraid to jump onto it. But it's still afar jump and hurts my feets.

So you know what the Dad said he'd do? He's going to take a window thingy and attach it to the wall wo I have a platform in between.

I don't know what a platform is, but if it means my feets won't hurt, I'm all for it.

The Mom says yes we're spoiled, but we're so cute it's all right.

Looky!

Can you see me there?

I'm on the big comfy chair! The Mom says to ignore the clutter because she's not done putting the room together but I think the room is fine just like it is, and you know what? Those bookcases aren't the only ones in the room, on the wall you can't see by the stairs there are 3 more and one is 8 foot tall! That's the one they want me to use to jump down on when I get on the high place on the wall.

I like the big comfy chair because it gets a lot of sun and I can nap there and be all toasty warm but then if I want I can go over to the other side of the room and nap on the black couch where it feels all nice and cool on my skin and there's another window there I can lok out if I want. Two windows! You can't see them in the picture.

I think this is my favorite room and I'm the only one who uses it much, so it's all mine!

The Mom and the Dad put a bookcase where I can jump onto it when I get on the very top wall and need to get down but it's the same color as the floor so when I'm up there I can't see it very well so I get really scared and I won 't jump so the Dad has to reach out and get me again. The Mom made me stay up there for a whole hour because she wanted me to figure it out for myself but I just couldn't so they said they're going to get something to put on top of the bookcase that is a different color and won't slide out from under my feet and if that doesn't work the Dad is going to build me a ramp because they know I'm going to keep going up there no matter what.

Looky!

It's hard to tell, but I got to the really high place on the wall! I got there all by myself and the Dad said "Oh, no, Buddah..." and the Mom said "I have got to get the camera" and I said "Um, I don't know how to get down from here" so I went all the way to the side and the Dad went upstairs and reached over the rail thingy and picked me up.

He said "Don't go there again!" but the Mom said "He'll figure out a way down on his own next time" which means she thinks I'll go there again and she right but I'm not sure I'll figure out how to get down.

Looky!

At first I was sad when we got to the new house because I was very very scared so I climbed inside the Dad's blue chair and wouldn't come out until he made me, and also because there was no new toy for us here. Last time we moved there was a new toy and I thought there would be one here, too. But after I wasn't as scared I started looking arund and I realized the whole house is a toy! The Mom and the Dad got us a giant playground!

Oh and the floors are all slidy, so when we play mousie, I run after it and I try to stop, but my butt keeps going, and it's at least 5 kinds of fun! And there are lots of windows to look out of. I haven't seen any rude cats out of one, but Max says they're there, he can smell them.

I think maybe he just smells himself.

Max is gonna give me money! He said so! He said a promise is a promise and when we're in our new house he'll tell the Mom to take some of his book money to buy new glasses! And I believe him, I really do.

And the Mom moved our climbing thingy from the place where the compouter is to a bedroom. Max says that's Bad News because they also took all the other stuff out of that bedroom. He thinks they're going to lock us up in there all day tomorrow. I think they just wanted to let us have a new view.

There has been alot of stuff disappearing the last couple of days. I don't like that at all. Yesterday I was in a bedroom and they closed the door, and when they opened it the table with the rolly balls was gone! Max said some strange people showed up and took it! I liked that table!

Max says all the rest of the stuff is probably at the new place, but just in case they're throwing it all away, I've been sleeping on top of the Mom and being extra cute, so she doesn't let someone take me, too. He says she won't because she likes tormenting him and I do that the best of all, but I wanna be sure.

Looky! Looky! A nice lady named Sandi emailed me this for proof!

Max hasta give me money, 'cause Satan is ALREADY ice skating!!!

Hahahahahahaha! He's gonna be really mad!

Ohhh. I was snoopervisin' while the Mom put stuff into boxes and I thought I better help, but when I went to look in the box to see what we were putting in it I knocked it over, and now the Mom says I have to buy the whole family a set of new glasses to drink out of. And you know what? For an old lady she can move pretty fast because I jumped away from it when it started to fall but she caught me in midair and said "DON'T FALL ON THE BROKEN GLASS!" I wasn't planning on it but it was fun that she caught me. Do you think Max will give me money for the new glasses? He said he would when Satan went ice skating, but I think the Mom wants them before it gets that cold out.

Please, Can I Have A Bigger Box???




There are a bajrillion boxes in the house, but this is the one I get. I would like to have one of the bigger boxes, I really would. It doesn't have to be too much bigger, just big enough I can get my head there too...

I gotta learn to do this!



Max said, "Buddah, you have to write in your bog more often." But I've been so busy lately. There are lots and lots of boxes to play with right now. And the Mom plays mousie fetch with me. And I have to run around like my butt is on fire. I want to write more but I don't always have time! Oh and the Mom says I'm a nice boy because I let Max have my chicken tonight. I hope that means maybe she'll give me a crunchy treat later.

Hahahahahahaha part deux





There's a kitty in there that climbs his Mom the way I used to climb mine! She's very glad I stopped doing that...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!










The Mom and the Dad have been gone a lot lately so I haven't had anyone to really play with much but today they were home this morning so I took my mousie and I dropped it at the Mom's feet and she said "You're not subtle, are you?" but I didn't know what that meant so I just looked up at her with my cute face. She threw the mousie for me over and over and over! And then later she was upstairs and I brought the mousie up and she throwed it some more, and the Dad did too. Then they went somewhere and when they came back they said they found us a new place to live and we'll go live there in less than a month and I wanted to know how long that was and Max said "Not enough sleeps, I'm sure." So I took the mousie and I dropped it at the Mom's feet again and she said "Don't you ever get tired of this?" and I said NOPE so she threw the mousie again and I fetched it. Oh! Oh! Oh! She said there are more stairs in the new place and they don't have carpet so me and Max can make LOTS of noise!!!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Tonight I wanted someone to play with me so I sat on the stairs and said "please will you play with me? Please? Please?" but I didn't know if anyone was listening, but then the Mom came and stood by the rail and said if I would go get a mousie she would throw it for me but I didn't want to go back down the stairs so she went and gotted BUBBLES! She blew on a stick and made bubbles come out and they were kitty crack bubbles and she kept blowing until the air was filled with bubbles! Some of them popped on my nose and I popped lots of them with my paw but some just went away all by themselves. It was almost as much fun as playing mousie fetch!

Break time.
Just for a bit.

Yay! I got tagged! By Kimo & Sabe and The Meezers!

Five Weird Things About Me

1. My butt is on fire every day but I never feel it get hot, I just run around like it is
2. I love to play fetch. The Dad says that means I'm a woofy!
3. I am afraid of the Other Dad's shoes and no one knows why
4. I don't like people food as much as Max
5. I like to sniff Max's butt, but even I can't figure that one out.

Oh I am not happy right now because I am really hungry and the Mom won't get up and get me something to eat. Every day I get hungry right in the middle of the day and I go stand on the stairs and say "Please, I am hungry, can I have something to eat?" and the Mom comes over and asks what the racket is all about and I say again "I am really really really hungry can I have a snack?" and she comes down the stairs and follows me into the kitchen and when I sit in front of the door that hides all the food she says "Oh! You're hungry!" so Max and I get a little snack.

So today I said I was hungry and she looked at me and said "One, you're starting an hour early and two, I'm onto you, Little Man, and I can't let you start begging the way Max does. If you go play nicely, I'll sneak you something to eat in a little while." But I'm hungry NOW! The number thingy on the computer says 1130AM and that means Buddah gets a snack! I'm not begging I am asking vey nicely!

Oh and you know what? The other day there were people heads outside our window! Max and I saw them, popping up and down behind the fence that keeps us from seeing what's going on in the other people's yard. It was a bunch of sticky little people heads, they were going up and down and up and down and up and down. Max thinks there were bodies attached to the heads and they were jumping on some tramp named Orlean, but I never saw any bodies, just heads. And I think it's really rude to jump on a tramp. It's rude to call someone a tramp! If I were Orlean I think I would bite someone.

We gotted presents today! Max says they're from Ayla, who's not as grumpy as she wants everyone to believe cause if she was really grumpy she wouldn't have sent such a nice Secret Paws package!

There were mousies, and they're the really fun kind that go rattle rattle rattle and have long tails for me to chew off! And there were these little yarny balls of catnip that are fun to carry around in my mouth. And there was a bag of kitty crack in a special bag thingy that Max wanted for his own so bad that I don't mind if I don't get to play with it.

The mom says there are lots of pictures of us with our package and presents at FLickr.

Thank you Ayla!

This morning I sat at the bottom of the stairs and called out because the Mom was upstairs, and I said "I can't find a mousie to play with. Will you come find one for me?" I had to say it three or four times before she leaned over the stair rail thingy and said, "I can't come play right now, sweetie, I'm busy," so I cocked my head and thinked for a second and said "I just want a mousie. PLEASE?" and she said "Can't you play by yourself?" so I went up the stairs halfway and said "I can play by myself but I need a mousie!" so she started to come down the stairs. I ran for the kitchen because that's the last place I saw a mousie and she followed me and said "Oh! Do you want a treat?" and because I'm not stupid I said "Yes, please." So me and Max got a treat! And then the Mom said "I'm going back upstairs" and I was about to be all sad because I still didn't know where one of my mousies was, but she turned the corner and I heard her rattle one and she said "Here, can you play with this for a while by yourself?" and I said "yes!" and she threw it for me and I chased it. Max says sometimes People have to think an idea is all their own before they do it and it doesn't matter because not only did I finally get a mousie to play with, I got treats for both of us.

The Mom came home today but I don't know where she had been but when she opened the door I came running to see her and she said "Buddah! What have you been doing, Little Man?" and then she closed the door and reached down to give me head skritches.

That's when she saw that there was a big clump of Max-fur sticking out of my mouth. And then she said "What did you do...?" and she sighed real hard and went to find Max, mumbling something about he probably had a huge clump of fur missing but then she fouund him and he was ok. I didn't pull out a giuant clump of Max's fur. Just lots of littles ones, all at once.

I don't think she was very happy with me. I don't think Max was, either.

I was just playin', honest!

The Mom and the Dad keep saying it's too hot but it feels just right to me. Max says they mean outside, so why don't they stay inside? He says that's because People are confusing things and we'll hurt our brains if we try too hard to understand them so I think I'll just go sit on the climbing thing and wait for snack time.

Looky! I was the very first picture that the Mom took with her new camera!




I helped her take it out of the box and then upload all the stuffs she needed to onto the computer and then I helped her figure out how to get pictures out of the camera. I helped with that by sitting on the back of the chair and saying "Uhoh" every time she said a bad word.

She and the Dad took a lot of pictures when they went outside today. I wish we could see stuff like that from the window. I think it's all hidden by the fence.

Oh! This morning I was really really really hungry and when the Mom fed us I scarfed my food down so fast that Max wasn't even halfway done with his. And Max likes his food so that says how hungry I was. The Mom was watching and she said, "You're a hungry boy today," and I looked at her and said "yes I am!" so she said I must need more to eat, and she got out some crunchy food and gave me a whole handful!

Max looked up from his Stinky Goodness so she put just a couple of crunchies on his plate and that made him happy. He wasn't really really really hungry like I was but he thinks it's only fair if he gets a little crunchy if I do. And I was still so hungry that I ate the crunchy food really fast, and was done before Max was!

I was still hungry but the Mom said "Let that sit in your stomach a little bit and if you're still hungry in an hour, I'll sneak you a treat." So I waited and waited and you know what? I wasn't hungry later. I still hope she sneaks me a treat, though. When Max is sleeping this afternoon if I ask her really nice she'll get me something to eat. She'd give Max a treat, too, but she says he really doesn't need it and if he gets one early in the day then he can't have a bite of their dinner and he really likes to get a tiny bite of dinner if they have something good, like last night they had chicken and it was really good and he was a good boy while they ate so he got a bite. I got a bite too but I wasn't good boy. I was just asleep when they ate.

Looky! This is what you get when you're clever and take your collar off! Well, you get this plus a new collar, which wasn't what I wanted but I still got this!



It's a giant mousie! It's the biggest mousie I've ever seen!






After I looked and sniffed and bited it a little the Dad hanged it for me so I could really get at it. It didn't bite back or anything. And I got tired of it, so the Mom had this envelope and she had more mousies! Lots and lots and lots of mousies! I love little mousies, especially the mousies that go rattle rattle rattle and all the mousies go rattle rattle rattle! I got to sniff them and bat at them, then the Mom put most of them away for later but left 3 of them out for me. And Max got to try to play with the big mousie, but he wasn't much interested. He didn't even seem interested in the little mousies so they're all mine!

I winned a game I didn't even know I was playing! I kept pulling on my collar and getting it stuck on my teeths, and the Mom kept getting it off for me and then she would tighten it up but I'd get it with my paw and then pull it out over my teeths again, and after I did it like five times she took the collar off and said "Ok, you win."

YAY!

Do I get a prize for that? I think when you win you're supposed to get a prize. Or a treat. Maybe I'll get some crunchy treats tonight for being a clever boy. The Mom likes it when I'm clever or silly. And I don't have a collar on, but Max does!

Looky!



Click image to biggify


Another roll of paper towels got a toothy death! They were on the counter and I carried them into the living room and I killed them! The Dad took my picture with my kill, and the mom said "ohhhhh you're anaughty boy, Buddah" but she didn't get mad or anything. Max says if they don't want me to kill things they should put them where I can't get to them.

There's a box of cheesy crackers on the counter and I think I want to try to kill that next. That will taste better than the paper towels. I like cheesy crackers a lot, and last night I tried to stick my head in the box but the Mom said, "No, Buddah, that's not cat food" but I said, "anything is cat food if I eat it" and she said I was cute so she broke a cracker in half and let me lick the cheese off and then nibble it a little.

I can't wait until the Mom and the Dad are both upstairs so I can hunt!

This morning I wanted in the Other Dad's room, but the door was closed, so I sat there and meowed and meowed and the Mom said "Buddah, be quiet, he's asleep" but I still wanted in the room so I didn't be quiet. I meowed and meowed and when that didn't work I tried to open the door by myself and it made a lot of noise and then the Other Dad opened the door. All that work and the door was open and I could go in and see him and sleep on his bed or look out his window! But I ran away instead. Because that's what kitties do.

Hahahahaha know what I just did? I was on the very top of the climbing thingy, and I stood there, and I threw up and it went everywhere! The Mom said Oh gross and then said it was worth a gold medal in projectile hariball hurling! And I think it bothered her even more cause the Dad wasn't here to clean it up so she had to! I'm not sick I just had hair in my tummy and it wanted out. It came out with dinner, too! Now it smells all beefy in here!

I gave Max the best thing I could think of for a late birthday present. We had shrimp as a treat last night and he loves shrimp more than anything in the world so I let him have half of mine. And tonight the Mom gave us each a little bite of chicken from their dinner, and I let Max have half of that too. He says he's not mad at me because I didn't even know it was his birthday and I can't go to the store anyway, but he was really happy to have the shrimp and the chicken, so he won't growl at me tonight if I get too close.

Oh. I feel bad. Yesterday was Max's birthday and we all forgetted. I don't think he forgetted but he didn't say anything. But he was in a really bad mood last night so I bet that's why. I hope the Mom and the Dad get him something special today to make him feel better. How can anyone forget Max's birthday? Max is MAX!

Looky!

I came in 2nd in high jumping in the the Kitty Lympics today! I was also in the climbing event, but I got stuck partway up and didn't win anything in it. But that's ok! It was 152 kinds of fun (Max said so!) and I just liked playing with all the other kitties.

Max didn't win anything in his event, sumo wrestling, but he says that's ok. He didn't train very much. He wrestled Cheese, and he says "Cheese whizzed all over me." Hahahahaha! He just liked being with the other kitties, too, even though I bet he won't admit that.

The Kitty Lympics was so much fun I hope we do it again next year! Max says we might have to wait 4 years, but then he'll be too old for it or he might even be dead!

There was a kitty in the back yard today, one of the RUDE kitties, and the Mom was outside sitting in a chair and she was NOT letting me out no matter how much I asked, and the rude kitty came up to her and started rubbing on her legs and against the chair. The kitty was being all nice and the Mom was saying what a good girl she was (and we didn't even know she was a girl!) and how pretty she was, and Max was at the back door watching all this but he wasn't trying to make the rude kitty go away, he just watched while the Mom was nice to the rude kitty. She told Max to be nice and then the girl kitty walked over to the door where Max was being nice, and you know what she did? Do you? She raised her front paws and swinged them, and HISSED at Max! And he didn't even do anything!

The Mom clapped her hands real loud and made the girl kitty go away and said "well I guess she wasn't such a nice little girl after all," and Max said "Well, DUH, we told you that like a hundred times," but the Mom just picked up her book and started reading again. That girl kitty really isn't very nice at all and Max said she's a something-something but I'm not allowed to repeat that.

Ohhh...yesterday, I wanted a mousie to play with but I couldn't find one so I called upstairs and asked very nicely for someone to come find one for me but no one ever came, so I gave up and was all sad and didn't have anything to do. I thought maybe no one was home but when Max came down he said there were people upstairs, they just didn't come down so I thought maybe no one wanted me to play with a mousie.

But in a little bit the Other Dad came down and he did some stuff and I wasn't really looking, but when I did look he was standing halfway up the stairs with his hands together, and he shook them a little bit, and when he opened them mousies rained from the cieling! I think there were 152 of them even though Max says there was only about 12, but there were mousies in every color I ever saw, and some of my favorite mousies were there.

It was really loud when they hit the floor and that kind of scared me a tiny bit so I ran into another room but I cam right back and started to play with the mousies.

You know what? I think the Other Dad knows magic! He can make it rain mousies! Max says that's all well and good, but he'll be impressed when the Other Dad can make it rain crunchy treats and Stinky Goodness.

Ok. I don't mind wrestling with Max when I know it's coming but I don't like him being all stealthy and knocking me down the stairs when I'm trying to lick my fun parts. He did it again and I asked what he thought he was doing and he said "I'm being all in Timmy Datin'." Well, he doesn't need to be Timmy because there's already a perfectly good Timmy, and whoever Timmy is datin' is none of Max's business and it would be very rude for him to pretend to be Timmy just to be datin' Timmy's girlfriend. That's a LAW. A nice kitty does not try to date another kitty's girlfriend, and that means you don't rub foreheads together, you don't watch birdies out the window together, and you really don't sniff each others' butts, because that would be rude and not fair to the kitty who was doing all the datin'. So Max needs to stop trying to be Timmy Datin' and find his own girlfriend, and stop knocking me down the stairs when I'm paying attention to my fun bits.

Do I really have to help Max practice his sumo wrestling just because he's doing it for the Kitty Lympics? He's not helping me practice for climbing and high jumping. I know he wants to win but I don't believe that sumo wrestling means pushing another kitty off the top stair to the bottom.

Hahahahahaha LOOKY!



Max had to go to the stabby place today and before they went he gotted a pill to make him not so growly but it didn't work very well so the bald guy stabbed him with something else to make him really loopy and it worked real good! Max could hardly walk when he came home and his eyes were all funny and I think he kind of liked it. That was a million hours ago and he's still pretty loopy. I been leaving him alone because the Mom and the Dad said I had to, but I'm having lots of fun just watching him. I bet he's hungry, though, because at dinner time he was locked in a room with the Dad and I ate all by myself and all he's had since he got home was a little chicken water the Mom gave him because he hid somewhere and they couldn't find him so she opened a can to make him unhide and then said it wouldn't be fair to not let him have any, so she gave him the water and a few tiny bites of chicken but not too many so he wouldn't barf. I hope he gets to eat soon.

I missed my GOTCHA day! I forgot about it and it went by and no one else remembered either! Or maybe Max did and that's why he's been so growly. Saturday was 1 whole year since the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad brought me home. I don't even really remember what it was like before they adopted me. But I guess it's okay that we all forgot, because no one even rememebers what Max's GOTCHA day is.

Ha Ha Ha Max doesn't know it yet but I heard the Mom and the Dad say that he's going to the stabby place tomorrow and get stabbed and maybe even have some of his blood sucked right out of his body! The Dad just went over there to get something that will make Max all drunk and not so growly so the bald guy at the stabby place can look at Max without losing an eye or his nose. I ike the people at the stabby place but Max thinks they are so evil that they should be called Stabby 666 Place. I don't get it but he thinks that's really funny. He's in a better mood today, he hasn't growled at me even once yet. He says the day isn't over yet, though.

Max is in a bad mood today. It's a really bad mood, a growly bad mood, and I'm not the only one who isn't happy with him. this morning he was growling at me and hitting me and the Mom told him to stop, so he jumped up on the rolly-ball table and was looking out the window and growled, and then the Mom tried to pet him and he growled at her, too. She bended over and asked "What's your problem today?" and he looked back at her and growled again! She told him to knock it off, so he growled some more. Then she thought maybe he didn't feel good, but then she caught him with some kitty crack and he was having a really good time. And when he saw me, he started growling again! I think he just likes to sound tough, and Mom says he better stop it with her because she's bigger than he is. Max says he doesn't care because she can't make him stop and he likes to growl. He better watch out because someday I might be bigger than him and I might growl back.

There was an alium in the house! I was in the room where the people watch the TV and the Dad was upstairs playing his computer and Max was in the kitchen and I heard a noise in the room that I'm not allowed in because the car sleeps there, so I went to see, and then the door opened and an ALIUM came in! I didn't run but I backed up and the alium reached out to try to touch me and it knew my name! I still didn't run but I backed up a bunch more and then went behind the chair and i saw Max and he came in and wanted to know what was wrong and I said there's an alium in the house! and he looked and said, "Oh yeah, I was pretty sure she was an alien." Then I peeked and the alium was gone and the Mom was standing there saying she was sorry. I don't know why she was sorry, because she showed up and the alium went away. Or maybe she killed it. She was holding its head in her hand!

Looky.
Someone got a picture of it!



Isn't that scary?

Nobody told me it was a special day for the Mom! The Other Dad got her presents and made her pizza for dinner, and Max said his present was not hocking up a hairball on her pillow but I didn't know about it so I didn't have anything or her and all I could do was rub my nose on hers and make her laugh. Max says it doesn't matter cause I don't have a way to get her a present and she doesn't really want a lot of crap anyway but someone shoulda told me!!!

You know what? If you're outside on a leash in a harness and the Mom and the Dad are sitting there watching you and you wiggle out of the harness, they'll pick you up and take you inside and say "When you take off your harness, outside time is over." And then Max will say "Bite them. It's their stupid fault the harness wasn't tight enough." But all I want is to go outside and play, not bite anyone. But I don't like the harness. I tried biting it but that didn't help things any. I hope I get to go back outside today.

Oh! The Mom and the Dad put this thing outside the window where Max and I can see it and they said it's gonna make birds come visit! There's food for the birds in it and as soon as they find out that it's there, they're all going to come play in our yard and we can sit at the window and watch them and talk to them and invite them to come inside for dinner!

Max says I'm just gonna whiz myself the first time there's more than 3 birds out there but I don't think so. And even if I do I'm not the one who will have to clean it up. I'm going to go wait by the window and maybe the birds will come tonight!

William tagged me! I had a hard time thinking of 10 birds I think are beautiful. But I tried hard!

1. Chicken
2. Turkey
3. Baked chicken
4. Fried chicken
5. Shredded turkey
6. Chicken strips
7. Crunchy Chicken treats
8. Crok pot chicken
9. Crok pot turkey
10. Ham

Those are the most beautiful birds I can think of.

Oh. I had a bad, bad morning. It was going really good at first, I got the Dad up this morning by making him play bite-it with his hand, and then he fed me and Max and we watched TV and I helped him read the comics in the paper. But later on I was playing with the Mom. She was on the stairs on the landing place in the middle and I was upstairs by the railing so my head was higher than hers and she was taking her hand and waving it in front of me, trying to get me to swipe at it. Well. I was so busy watching her hand that I didn't see the sock that was rolled in a ball fly through the air. IT BIT ME ON THE BUTT!!! I swear! It came out of nowhere and bit my butt and I jumped so high I almost landed on the top of the Mom's desk, and then I knocked over the trash can.

The next thing I know the Mom and the Dad were laughing really really hard but they were also saying they were sorry. they should be! That was one of their socks that attacked me! Max says if they would put their crap away stuff like that wouldnt happen. Al I know is that I was having a good time, and then all the sudden I got so scared that I kight have lost one of my lives!

The Dad is impressed though because he says he never saw a kitty jump that high. And he was sorry. They were so sorry the sock bit my butt that they gave Max and me some treats. Since we hardly ever get any anymore, that was nice.

You should all watch out for rolled up socks. They are really MEAN.

Last night, the Mom's neck must have been cold because when I plopped down on it she said "you're such a good neck warmer, Buddah," and I stayed there for a long time and purred, and when she said "if you move half an inch either way I won't be able to breath," I moved a whole inch and she said "well, that's just so much better" so I knew she was happy.

Then this morning I helped her wake up. I curled up right next to her face and put my nose on her cheek and she opened her eyes and said "well good morning to you, too," and then she scratched my head and said, "I can't see the clock with you right there," but tat was okay because she didn't have her extra eyeballs on so she couldn't see the clock anyway so she decided if I was there it must be time to wake up, so she did!

She was gone a lot this weekened and we missed her, so today we're going to take turns sitting on her. Max says he didn't really miss her, he missed her opening the laptop for him. I think he's still just mad that she got mad at him when it was really early in the morning, so early it was still dark out, because he meowed at her to get up then and when she opened and eye and said "go away" he hit her face with his paw and she made him get off the bed.

He should cuddle with her. She'll get up for that.

Hahahaha! Max was lookin' out the window and he got all upset because he saw something in the back yard and he kept getting more and more freaked out so the Mom and the dad got a flashlight and went back there to see but there was nothing there. So they came back inside and the Mom was telling him it was okay, there was nothing there to worry about and he was looking out the window and started growling really loud, and the Mom started laughing and said "Max...you're seeing Buddah's reflection in the glass. He's right behind you." I don't think he believed her but I moved away and suddenly there was nothing to growl at in the back yard. He still doesn't believe he was seeing me! So I'm laughing at him, but not to his face because that would be rude.

LOOKY!!!

I did it! I got a harness and I went outside in the back yard with the Mom and the Dad. I got to explore it and sniff it and listen to the woofy in another yard that was all woof woof woof woof the whole time and I saw birds and my paws were all in the green stuff that the Dad called grass.







And lookit Max! He stayed inside and sniffed me through the door. It looks like we're kissin' but we're not. And you know what? I get to do it again! Maybe not tomorrow cause it's supposed to rain AGAIN but next time it's nice out I get to go outside again!

OH OH OH! THE MOM TOOK ME OUTSIDE!!! She really did! I was meowing by the front door and she kept saying "No, no, Buddah, you don't want to go out there" but I kept meowing "Yes I do" so the Dad said to her "Take him out. As soon as the rain hits him he'll never want to go out again" so she picked me up and held me close and SHE TOOK ME OUTSIDE!!!

It was amazing! I could feel the air on me and the wet stuff coming out of the sky got all on me but I didn't care because I was outside and it was AWESOME. The Mom held me and kept a thumb under my collar to make sure I didn't try to wiggle down, but I was happy to let her hold me. I watched one of those big things with wheels go by and I heard water go drip drip drip into a puddle, and then she said "You want to see the back yard?" and I did so she took me out there and let me meet the racoon. I always wondered why that racoon just sat there all the time, and I was a little scare of it, but she slapped it and it didn't move at all! She said "See? It's just concrete."

By then I was ready to go back inside so she took me back, but now I can't wait until I get to go out again. The Dad said to her, "I really think we should get him a harness and leash. He'll be okay if one of us stays with him" and she said "ok" so I might get to go back outside again!

They tried to take Max out, too, but as soon as the Dad had him outside he tried to go back in. Max says it's because he doesn't like rain at all, but I think he's just scared. If we get a kitty walk or a kitty playpen or a kitty grand prix he might want to go outside. But the Mom says those are expensive, and it's still just a big MAYBE.

Max thinks it's funny that I'm losing a lot at Kitten War, but you know what? They wouldn't even put his picture up there! He was REJECTED! He says it was because he's too old but I know better. He's just not cute enough. So...HA!

Looky!
The thingy on the table by the mom's desk started making all kinds of noise, so I had to investigate and see what was happening.


I think it was sick.
It was throwing up and having a hard time getting stuff out, so I tried to help.
I reached right in and pulled!


I kept trying to help, but it kept throwing up. I was gonna stick my face in there to get a better look but the Mom said I had to get down. It must really be sick, 'cause it's still barfing.

We had sunspots today! I waked up this morning and went downstairs, and there they were, all over the room that has the floor I like to slide on and the couch the Mom says I've ruined with my claws! She opened cans of Stinky Goodness for me and Max, and then I stretched out in a sunspot and let it make my tummy all warm.

Later on the Mom and the Dad were outside where we could see them and the back door was open but the screen thingy was there, and I tried and tried to push it open so I could go out with them but I couldn't get it to move. The Mom said I was a smart kitty because she knew what I was trying to do. And she said she wants to see how much a kitty catwalk is so we can come out and not worry about the rude outside kitties. the Dad said just get harnessessessess and leashes but she thinks the other kitties would attack us.

I hope they can find them because that would be fun.

Looky!





Max and me got presents today from a kitty named Abby! He said she was our Secret Paw! That was lots and lots of fun and a lot like Christmas AND a birthday!


One more of me!
You can see my new neck thingy!
And Max says there's more pictures on his bloggy thingy.


Thank you Abby and all your brothers and sisters!

First the Mom took my neck thingy off and then rubbed my neck and that felt good and then she went somewhere with the Dad and I was running around the house thinking I was free and I would never have neck itchies again and I was all happy and then you know what? She came back and had a NEW neck thingy and made me wear it even though I kept saying "Nooooo!" and kept trying to get away from it but she didn't give up and since she's bigger than me she made me have it on. She says it's a very pretty blue color but I don't care, I don't want it and now I'm just MAD at her.

Yesterday, I had a bug to play with, and I was having a lot of fun playing with the bug, and I batted it around and pinned it against the wall and then let it down and then hit it some more and pinned it on the wall again and you know what? The Other Dad took it away and he killed it! Then he putted it in the trash can and took the trash outside! Before I was done playing with it!

The Mom thought it was a good thing! He told her it was a yellow jacket and she was all happy that he took it away from me because it might have bited me back, but it wasn't very big so it couldn't have very big teeth. I was really really mad and I wanted my bug back, but then Max said that was a bug that would make the Mom sick if it bited her, and he said he doesn't know for sure but he thinks it has a thing in its butt that would hurt me if I got poked with it.

But I was having lots of fun until the Other Dad took it away.

I was gonna write all about how the Mom just went out and got us a new water fountain thingy because she said the old one was gross and it was never going to get clean enough for her to feel okay about us drinking out of it again because the water here makes things gross and the new one is all bright and sparkly and the water tastes better, but I'm not.

No, when I was downstairs thinking about the new water fountain thingy, a kitty came to the back door and I chased it away! I made my fur all big and I stood up on my back legs and pounded my front paws on the window and made so much noise that the Mom came running down to see what was wrong because she thought I'd hurted myself or something. Then she looked out the window and said, "That was a nice kitty, Buddah. She just wanted to come see you." But Max said the outside kitties are rude kitties and now I'm big enough to scare them away! Then the Mom said "You know, that's a girl kitty. Maybe she wants to be your girlfriend." Well I don't know about that. But maybe next time I'll let her say something before I get all GO AWAY on her.

The Mom asked "Why can't I got into the bathroom without you?" and then the Dad told her that I tried to get in there with him, too. So the Mom asked again, "Is there a reason we can't go potty without your help?" so I said "You can go without me I just want to watch the water go swirl swirl swirl and then gurgle." I don't think that mattered though because a little while ago she went in and closed the door and I didn't get to watch it go swirl swirl swirl and I heard it gurgle without me. I'm not hurting anything when I'm in there so why can't I go in every time?

We got sunspots today! And some of the windows are open so I'm running from one room to the other and feeling the breeze and then running down the stairs as loud as I can and then back up the stairs as loud as I can and then jumping on the climbing tower and pushing Max off, and then running to the windows again! Oh! And the Mom moved our climbing tower so it's right in front of the window so we can sit on it and see outside side and we can watch the woofy next door. He doesn't like us there. He can see us so he goes WOOF WOOF WOOF and doesn't stop and it really makes the Mom uh noid because she can't think with WOF WOOF WOOF all the time, but she says it's not his fault it's just how woofies are.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I hadded a birthday today! No one told me I was having a birthday, and then when Max said "It's your birthday!" I said "Yay!" and then "What's a birthday?" He said it's the most amazing day a kitty can have, next to Christmas. And that I was probably too little to remember how we let the Mom sleep late on her birthday. And THEN he said "You're going to get a special dinner tonight! And PRESENTS!" and then I said "YAY!" really loud.

Then the Dad gotted up to feed us and he said Happy Birthday. And then when the Mom gotted up she gave me kisses and said I was the birthday boy! And she mumbled something about how she thinks she's insane, but Max said that's ok, we already knew that about her.

Max was nice to me ALL DAY. And he was right, there was a special dinner and he got some too. It was meat that the Dad cooked outside (but it's ok, he didn't let any birdies poop on it) and shrimp. I ated it ALL and I wanted a little more shrimp but Max said No, be cool, because shrimp is like kitty crack to the Dad and he would have some later, and if we were good we'd get more and we can't be too greedy even on our birthday, plus if I had too much I'd throw up.

After dinner I got presents! I got 4 of them! The Mom and the Dad played with us for a long time, and Max played a lot, too! And he played all nice, we took turns trying to catch the flying thingy toy I gotted, and sometimes we tried to catch it together. Oh and Max said he couldn't go shopping because the Mom is hogging all his money again plus he doesn't know how to make the car go, so he said my present from him was a secret. He whispered "For a great big pain in the butt, you make a pretty good little brother and I'm mostly glad you're here." But it's a secret! As soon as I find out what a secret is, I'll tell you!

I had the best birthday ever. And there are lots of picture, just click on the one below and it will take you to a page the Mom made. She said to click on the little pictures to see the big ones, cause the little ones are all squished to load faster.

Thank you everyone for saying Happy Birthday to me! I don't comment on a lot of blogs but I read them over Max's shoulder and he says that's ok, he talks enough for two kitties. Having so many kitty friends is pretty cool, too!



Heh that's dinner!

We interrupt Buddah's blog to bring you this important message:

Image was removed because it was so big, but you can still see it
HERE

This morning I wanted to get into the Other Dad's room but the door was closed because he was sleeping so I meowed lot and when it didn't open I tried to open it all by myself. I gotted both paws on the round turning thingy and tried to make it turn like the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad can do but I couldn't get a grip on it. The Mom came and said "No, Buddah, he's sleeping," and she said I could come in with her because she wasn't ready to be out of bed just yet but I didn't want to, I wanted to go into the Other Dad's room because he has the best window to look out of so I went to the litter box instead. Then I decided that the fuzzy blanket would be nice to curl up on so I went into the room with the Mom and she petted me and let me curl up on top of her and she said, "You really are a clever little boy, and pretty soon I bet you'll be able to open a door." But you know what? She's not happy about that because she's afraid I'll open the wrong door and go outside.

Tonight, we gotted our snack a little early, and after we eated it I went upstairs, and you know what? The Mom was digging in our litter box! I sat there and watched her and she said "What?" but I was so surprised to see her playing with poop that I didn't say anything, so she dug around some more and said "I'm looking for hidden treasure. I keep hoping one of you will start pooping gold."

Can we really do that???

You know what? When there are no sun spots to nap in, and outside it looks all icky, and the rain is coming out of the sky, sleeping right in the middle of the big bed with the fuzzy blanket is really, really nice.

Max said I had to say this 'cause he said I wasn't being an honest kitty. But honest, I is a kitty! Okay.

The Other Dad never ever chases me with the broom. And the Other Dad does not hit me with the broom. I was just embarrassed 'cause I didn't remember the broom. But I never get hit with anything, not even hands.

Okay.
Now we know.

Max says I hafta take a bath now.
I think I'm being punished.

Everybody is laughing 'cause they think I'm ascared of the broom, 'cause I used to play with it and bite it, but what they don't know, is when no one else is home, the Other Dad chases me and hits me with it!

The Mom and the Dad went to the place where they have toys, I know they were there because the bag they brought back said PETCO and that means TOYS. But all they had in it was a fishy, and they won't let me play with the fishies. All I get to do is look at them. The Mom says I have enough new toys but I don't think a kitty can ever have enough new toys. But she did says she wanted to buy more toys but thought she should wait until I kill another one.

And this morning, there was a ride kitty in the back yard, and I chased him away all by myself! I did just like Max showed me. I made myself really puffy and big and I slapped the windows with my paws really loud, and I even GROWLED! The Dad said he never heard me growl before. I don't think I ever have, not like that. But it worked, 'cause the rude kitty went away. Max said "Well done, grasshopper." What's a grasshopper?

Tonight, I sitted on the Mom's lap, and then I laid down, and Max wanted in her lap but I was there first, so he got really mad. The Dad said "Come sit in my lap, Max" so Max did but he was still really mad and kept looking at the Mom with his eyes all slitty which means "Die die die!" I stayed there a long time just to make him madder. Later I got down and he coulda gotten up but he was off in the litter box, so when he came back and saw her lap was empty I ran and got back in it. He was all mad and I was all HA HA HA! He got to sit on her lap ater, but after he was there for a little bit she had to get up. Max is not a happy kitty tonight but it's kind of funny.

Looky! We gotted a new toy!





clicky to biggify


I gotted to it first, and Max wasn't happy so he tried to squishy me. And there was a toy INSIDE the toy! So I played with it and turned the new toy upside down to try to pull it out. Then Max wanted to try to get in it but he's so long that he couldn't get his whole body in it to turn around. And it wasn't even because he's fat! Even though he is fat. He got mad and walked away and when he turned around he said GIVE ME SOME TREATS CUZ I AM MAD! There was kitty crack all over the floor but that wasn't enough, he wanted crunchy treats. So the Dad got some. And then he sitted on another toy and pretended like he didn't care even though he did. I can get inside and turn around and lie down. I likes it! I feel bad for Max, though, because he really wants to fit in it, too. And he said I need to play with it lots because before I know it I'll be too tall, too.

If I get to tall, too, he says the Dad might make us a bigger one. 'cause the Dad knows how to make stuff like that.

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