Max's job in the morning is to wake the Mom up and tell her it's time for breakfast and to get out of bed and take her opposable thumbs downstairs so someone can open a can of Stinky Goodness, but a couple of mornings this week I went in and did his job for him because it seems like a fun job to have, plus you sometimes learn fun new words, but this morning when I went in and said HEY GET UP! Max came in and told me to be quiet because it was too early to wake her up, and if you wake her up that early it's like asking the devil to do something--you might get what you want but you sure won't like the results. I told him it was light outside and I was hungry and it had been at least 5 sleeps since we had any good food but he said no, we kind of have a deal with the Mom, that we will let her sleep at least until it's time for the Regis guy to skwawk on the TV, but usually a little later on account of she's bassackwards and stays up pretty late but I said she wouldn't mind just this once and he started to say something else but she sat up and said WILL YOU TWO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO TALK? and then Max said "Well, once her eyeballs are visible it's all fair game" so he jumped on the bed and when she laid back down he put his head near her ear and went "Meow" every 2.2 seconds almost like a whisper until she finally said some of those fun words and got up and put her clothes on and did her drugs and stuff. But you know what? She didn't feed us! She sat down and read the paper and there was no Regis skwawking on the TV but then I found out it's Saturday and he sleeps in on Saturdays, too, so we had to wait until Regular Breakfast Time anyway, which was a big disappointment, and Max said to get used to it, because most of my life is gonna be that way.
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