The Adventures Of Buddah Pest

Looky! The Dad wanted to read the newspaper but I didn't want him to because I wanted head skritches, and look!


I got them. Lots of them. And I curled up and went to sleep for a little while so he had to wait to read the paper.


I got down for a little while and he left the paper there, so I jumped back up and took a nap, because there's nothing like a nap on top of crinkly paper.

Sometimes, a guy just has to get a cuddle...

Oh man Max peed in the living room right in front of the Mom and the Dad and when she told him to stop he wouldn't do it he just kept right on peeing until she jumped up and started to reach for him even though it's not like she could MAKE him stop peeing and then she had to clean it up, and since I was already in trouble for giving her arm an owie and she said NO TREATS FOR YOU, I kinda laffed and laffed.

Look! Look look look look look!

Those things ate the Mom's feet! I chased them around for a little bit but then they turned around and started chasing me and I didn't want to get eaten too so I jumped somewhere high so they couldn't get to me, and I felt bad for the Mom but I figured her feet were long gone by then so there was nothing I could do.



See, I got up where it's safe and watched as those things made her roll around and around and around and into the bookcases because they wouldn't stop and I think they rolled her right to the end of the hall and she probably smacked into the wall down there and then they turned her around and did it all over again and again and again. I kept waiting for them to eat her legs but they never did, instead she finally had enough and saved herself by sitting down and pushing on this thingy at the top and she made them throw her feet right back up.

I have been very very quiet lately because I am very very upset because you know what? The Mom and the Dad and Max...they forgot my birthday. It was a very very important birthday, too, because I am five years old now, and that's a major major kitty birthday, it's like turning 16 or 21 for a person, but no one remembered, except some of my friends, but because Max and the Mom hog the computer I didn't even see their happy birthday wishes until today. And you know what else? One of the Mom's friends sent these fum toys with little jingle balls on a string on them, and she never even realized that was a birthday present, she thought it was just because. Max says to get over it because they've forgotten his birthday before, too, and we get pretty much everything we want all the time anyway, but that doesn't mean my feelings aren't hurt because I didn't get to hear "Happy Birthday" even once on my actual birthday, and that sucks.

Oh, you know what? the Mom and the Dad went away for a night and the Other Dad came over and he brought his woofy, which didn't make me or Max very happy, so we stayed in the back of the house and he stayed in the front of the house, which was okay because before they left the Mom brought our food and water fountain to the back of the house and put the gate up so that the woofy couldn't get to the back of the house, which meant he couldn't eat our food AND we were safe from getting accidentally eaten, and then at night the Other Dad took his woofy into a bedroom with him and shut the door, so we were still safe and if we wanted we could go to the front of the house, which Max didn't want to do because he thinks woofies are sneaky and didn't want to risk it, but I did, and then because I was so very brave while they were gone the Mom and the Dad went out and got me a brand new bed!

I had a bed but I didn't like it and sometimes I got into Max's bed but he didn't like that, so I used a pillow and I thought it was very comfy, but I kept rolling off of it, but now I have a really big pillow and it's right in front of the fire!



I think I look very good on it.

Looky.

We got this nifty food thingy that has lots of our favorite crunchy food in it and it's like the food never goes away, but Max won't let me have any of it, and the Mom and the Dad put it there because they're going to go play in the snow sometime next week and they're going to stay there all night and got this so we would have food while they were gone but since Max won't let me have any I'm going to starve to death, I just know it.

Looky! I'm a puzzle!

Looky! I have a new box!

I don't know why everyone laughs at me when I sit in it, though.

Oh you know what? Tonight the Mom and the Dad went out to the store because they were out of yogurt and they will DIE if they don't get to eat yogurt every day, like THREE times a day, plus they wanted milk and bread and tiny turkey sausages that the Mom likes but she never shares with me, but that's all right because I don't like a lot of People food anyway but it really pisses Max off.

Well, they turned the fire thingy off when they left and then when they came home they didn't turn it back on so I waited and waited and waited and I had my dinner and I waited some more and finally when the Mom was sitting there watching How I Met Your Mother's Big Bang Theory I went over to it and banged my head against the front so that it made a rattle noise, and she got up and turned it on for me so that I could be nice and toasty warm until she has to turn it off before she goes to bed tonight.

LOOKY!!!! LOOK LOOK LOOK!

The Dad made tis for me for Christmas! It's a brand new scratching post and it's really tall, so tall I can stand on my back legs and stretch as hard as I can stretch and still claw at it and if I want I can jump up and sit on the top, and it's really all mine because Max doesn't have front claws! We got lots of other things too from Santa but this is my favorite thing along with the crunchy treats the Grandma gave us!

Looky! Max and I gotted a Secret Paws package in the mail today from Gracie!

After the Mom opened the package, we both tried to stick our heads into the envelope but that didn't work out so good, and the Dad took pictures of our butts.


We kinda took turns and I got to open this one.



Hehehehe lookit Max, he was rubbing his head on this one!



I really liked this bear--it has catnip in it!



And, well, when something has catnip in it, this happens:



Thank you, Gracie! I love all our presents and everyone was laughing on account of Max got some whiffs of the catnip and started playing, and that hardly ever happens!



See, this is how nice Gracie was to us! And she's really cute, too!

When the nice lady from the cat food place that has really really good crunchy food, I think it's called Nutro, sent us some to try she also sent us a kitty, and Max does not like that new kitty so I thought about it and decided I should be a good little brother and do something about it.

I bited its head and bunny kicked it and told it if it doesn't leave Max alone I will EAT it, and then it didn't say anything so I'm pretty sure it's scared of me now.

Look! Looklooklooklooklook!

This is my new place to hang out! See the red wall behind me? The Dad made this special thing that hides the freaking awful looking TV cable and it's not painted, it's covered in scratching post material so if I want to scratch, I can! And the Mom took the fuzzy blankets and folded them just right so that I can curl up on them and take a nap right where it's very warm! I have to share it with max, but it was really just for me!

Looky! I went exploring in the food thingy. I got on top the the refrigedator and then got onto the top shelf where old cereal and Pop Tarts go to die. I figured it was ok since all that stuff has been there since we moved in, I think.

The Mom and the Dad wanted me to get out but I didn't see any reason to because it's not like there was anything to get into up there, just stale food that not even a mousie would want, but the Mom dragged out a chair to get me anyway.



She got me out but that doesn't mean I won't get back up there again. 'Cause now I know I can get in it, and if I'm all stealthy maybe they won't notice.

The fire thingy wasn't on but it was nice and warm in front of it anyway so Max and I curled up and had a nice nap this evening, on account of we were sleepy because we got to eat come chicken from that nice guy Denny that the People go see a lot.

Denny is a really good cook and he should probably be famous or something because I like much chicken and I don't like much people food at all, so if I eat it it must be really really really good.

Max says the People really need to do something about that stupid white cord thingy that goes from the wall into the TV because they took it down when the Mom was painting and they still haven't put it back where it belongs because they're lazy and stuff and it's been WEEKS, so it's time for them to do it already, and usually I think Max is kinda mean but this time I think he's kinda right.

Don't tell Max!

But I took a nap in his bed! Hehehehehehe.

Looky! Can you believe the Mom was gonna throw this away???

I sat on it and claimed it, so now I get to keep it.