Oh! Oh! Oh! We have eggsitment going on right now! There's a little girl kitty in the rumbly bike room and Max and I can hear her because she's LOUD when she's meowing. We don't get to see her and we probably won't ever get to meet her on account of the Mom says she's somebody else's kitty we just have to figure out whose, but the Mom says she's very very pretty and very very sweet. She won't tell what her true name is but I hear the Mom calling her "Sweet Girl" and "Baby Girl" through the door. Max says that's gross but he doesn't like being called sweet anything which is probably because he knows he's not sweet at all, but I like being called sweetie and I don't mind if the Mom calls the girl kitty sweetie, too.
Max says the Mom wants to find where the girl kitty lives because when they thought I was missing it hurt her heart really bad, and she hates the idea of someone else's heart hurting really bad, too. I kind of hope she finds the girl kitty's family and part of it is really selfish cause I don't think I want another kitty in here. I like being the baby, and the girl kitty is younger than me.
So please think good thoughts of FIND GIRL KITTY'S FAMILY so that everyone is happy!
Oh I think we're in trouble. Tonight the Mom filled our crunchy food dishes all the way to the top and said that would hold us all through tomorrow and then she sat down to play online so max and I decided to play Tag You're It and we were running and running and we ran from the front room toward the kitchen and we ran right into the food dishes and sent all that food flying all over the place! She was not happy, not at all because some of the food got in our water fountain and she had to get a slotted spoon to fish it out and then she had to get the broom to clean up all the crunchy food and when she was done she wagged the Pointy Finger and said CALM YOUR BUTT DOWN! Max said that was really really funny and totally worth it, but I think the Mom is mad and she might not fill the dish again tonight!
Oh! Today was Happy Turkey Day, but Max was sad all day, so when the Mom and the Dad came home and said there was Surprise Turkey from Auntie Marla I only ate a little bit and let Max have most of mine, so I guess today really was Happy Turkey Day, because Max was happy! Hahahaha!
I wish this was me!!!!
I tried gettin into a donutz box once but I got yelled at...
Will someone please make Max stop licking my head? I take baths all by myself now and I take a bath every day, sometimes twice a day and I don't NEED his help and he's really ticking me off but if I do anything about it he'll throw me down the stairs and I just don't bounce as good as I used to.
OHMYGOSH I GOT BACON TONIGHT!!!
Oh oh oh! THERE WERE STICKY LITTLE PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT! None of them actually got into the house but I think they would have if the Dad hadn't stopped them at the door and bribed them with tootsie roll pops, and if they had gotten in here they might have TOUCHED me and pulled on my tail or something, even though Max said they weren't coming in and all they wanted was candy and they do this EVERY year, they just ring the doorbell and the Dad gives them treats like they've done something special but I didn't see any of them doing anything special, just doorbell ringing, and I could do that if they would let me out the front door.
I got tagged to do the desktop mememememe!
This is the desktop on the Mom's big computer:
Up until yesterday it was me! And this is what it looked like:
The Mom likes the first picture because she loves rumbly bikes and says it blows her away that someone would ride in the snow. She wishes she knew who took the picture because it's very pretty and they deserve the credit for it, but she doesn't know who it is.
If I ever get a computer of my very own, the picture is going to be of a giant bag of crunchy treats. I would like some crunchy treats right not, but I asked the mom a few minutes ago and she said "No, sweetie, it's not time to eat anything." I didn't ask what time it was, sheesh.
Twinkies what I love to eat
Get cream on my tiny nose
Lick cream off my tiny feet
Why can't I have an entire whole Twinkie? Why do I only get a tiny tiny bite? It doesn't seem fair...
Ohhhh Max is really mad. The Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad had chicken for dinner and he didn't get any because the Other Dad said it was fried and he didn't need any and the Mom agreed so Max didn't get even a tiny taste of it, all he got was a couple of crunchy treats and he said that was good but IT WAS NOT CHICKEN! He said it like that, IT WAS NOT CHICKEN! I was asleep so I missed it all but that's okay because I'm not a big fan of people food anyway unless it's chicken the Mom makes in a krok pot or the Very Very Special Pot Roast that gets zapped in the microwave for 4 minutes and then has to sit for 2 minutes before eating, because that is very very good but even then we only get little tastes because it has sodium in it.
Max says it's talk like a pirate day and I'm supposed to say R a lot.
What's a pirate?
And why does a pirate say R a lot?
Is it a speech impediment?
And why does he keep saying he's gonna make me walk a plank? Because I looked that up and I don't think I want to walk on one because it might have splinters.
Ohnoes...you remember the first day the Mom and the Dad brought me and Max to the new house and then they thought I got out and was lost forever and the Mom was running up and down the street with snot running down her face and then was so happy I was actually still in the house that she almost got the snot running all over again?
Well, the people who lived in the house before us (they were only in it for 6 weeks) had two kitties, and the lady came over to oick up some mail that the damnedincompetentmailservice didn't forward and she told the Mom that when they got to their new house one of their kitties got out and they still can't find her.
The kitty's name is Sara so if everyone could concentrate their sooper dooper kitty mojo towards CA maybe she'll turn up, either here becaue maybe she thinks she's coming home and then we can take her to her Mom and Dad and human brother and sister, or she'll remember she has a new house and she'll go back there. It's been three weeks and they're very sad. So please think good thoughts and stuff.
When the Mom and the Dad and the Other Dad make eveyone move into a new house, being a snoopervisor is a very very very very very bizzy job and I barely have time to do my paper holder downer job but the Mom hasn't had a lot of paper holder downing for me to do which is just as well because I'm TIRED!
I don't know why everyone got so excited today. They took us to a new place and I was scared, but I did was I was told. When they put Max and me in a room they said to stay there and be good, so I did just that. Even when Max got the door open I stayed in the room. Max was gone for three hours, and I stayed in the room. I heard them call my name, but no one said I could leave the room, so I stayed there. Then all the sudden the Dad shouts I FOUND HIM and he picked me up and hugged me and the Woman came running and she grabbed me and hugged me too and she was teary eyed and upset but happy, and then they took me back home where most of my stuff is GONE. And I don't know but we got LOTS of treats. Max says not to question it, they were worried about me and now they're happy, so just accept the treats and be happy. I think I got so may treats because I was a good boy and stayed in the room like I was told to. Max got treats because even though there were doors open that go outside he stayed in the house. That's not as good as staying in the room you're told to stay in but I guess it counts for something.
There are lots and lots of boxes in the house!
Max says this is not good, that the boxes aren't there for me to play on, but why else would they be here? This is fun!
This morning the Mom pointed her finger at me and said "You have to stop going apeshit every morning, and you especially have to stop running across the bed when I'm trying to sleep," but I'm not going apeshit I'm just playing and running while I wait for her to wake up, and this morning when I played and I ran I moved my bed and my tunnel and the front carpet runner and a bunch of my toys right into the middle of the living room, because that way we won't forget any of them when we move, but Max says it's too soon to worry about that, and to ignore the Mom because she's lazy and sleeps too late anyway.
Found it!
Now the Mom can get back to work.
I have been very very very busy lately. Not only do I have the job of Official Paper Holder Downer, but I have found a new hobby to take up time when I am not working. It's called howl at all closed doors. First I howled at the front door, making the Mom think I wanted to go outside. I did that for many days in a row, lots of times every day.
Then I howled at the door that leads to the room where the rumbly bikes sleep. I did that many days in a row, too, many times a day.
Today I am howling at the pantry door, which confuses the Mom because it doesn't really lead anywhere and none of my food is kept there.
When I'm not holding down papers and howling at doors, I'm running around the house like my butt is on fire. This is great exercise (that's how I'm skinny and Max is NOT) and it makes the Mom get up and make sure there's nothing wrong with me. She doesn't really like it in the middle of the night, though, especially if Max does it too so we can play Thundering Herd Of Elephants.
I have a lot to do every day, and it doesn't seem like there's enough time to do it all.
=sigh=
I'm not talking to the wall. I'm talking to the front door, saying open, open, open because I want to go outside, only no one ever takes me outside, they just sit there and say "No, Buddah" or "Stop talking to the wall, Buddah" or "Is there a buggy there?" I never get to go outside and I want to because I can see it from the window and it looks like a lot of fun and I think I would have a goos time, but all I ever hear is NO.
I think I learned this before but I learned it again tonight. If you go into the giant litterbox room with the Mom, and she leans over to pick something up off the floor, it's not a good time to jump on her back and chew on her hair. Just so you know.
I'm a bad blogger, I know.
But I got a job!
I'm a Paper Holder Downer!
It doesn't pay anything but I get crunchy treats and I get to sit on the desk by the Mom.
It keeps me busy...but I'll try to be a better blogger, I promise!
